Dealing With Couple Fights: How I Resolve Conflict With My Partner

Dealing with couple fights can be very sensitive at times. You may have disagreements or differing opinions which may make it difficult to reach a common ground. However, disagreements can be a good way of getting to know your partner better as a person. While it is important to put forward your needs in a fight, the key is to understand where the other person is coming from to resolve conflicts in a healthy way.

Being a part of Gen-Z, I have seen people adore older couples for completing ages with their partners as if it is some kind of a miracle. I have often asked myself, “is it really that hard to be with someone for a long time? And if not always, when does it get easier?”.

In a generation of hook-ups and summer flings, even the silliest fights often drive people away without even attempting to resolve the issues. Even so, there are some couples still who manage to overcome all odds and try to make it work despite their differences. But how do they do that? Being in a relationship for more than seven years myself, I think I can share some part of my wisdom that might help you with yours.

I am often questioned about how do I deal with issues with my partner or if we ever even fight. The truth is, there’s nothing like a perfect relationship or a fairy-tale romance, as when the pixie-dust wears off, there can be some pretty hard things to deal with and that’s when most people give up. What they don’t realise is that resolving issues together is something which is a part of a relationship and is equally important for its growth. You cannot expect a rainbow without the storm, after all.

Here's how I deal with issues with my partner:

1. Acknowledging feelings

One of the things that I have learnt through all these years with my partner is that it is important to understand the other’s point of view just as well. When you acknowledge the feelings of the other person, it is then you realise what they might be needing from you. While it is important to put forward your expectations, it is also equally necessary to recognise their feelings about the issue.

2. Aggression is not the answer

There have been times when one of us went over the board, being so frustrated with the issues that we almost shouted at each other. Never do that. Your anger might get off soon but the words that you may have spoken might last for a long time. It is important to keep the anger as well as the ego aside to resolve a conflict in a healthy way.

3. Honesty and communication

Dishonesty is one of the primary causes of conflict in most couples. Be honest about how you feel about the issue and communicate your concerns. Put forward your feelings and express them openly while being sensitive to theirs. If you’re not being honest about your own feelings, you’ll eventually bottle it up and that can be very toxic for a relationship.

4. Trust

Trust is one of the basic pillars of a healthy relationship. Without love, there is no trust and without trust, there can be no relationship. When you refuse to trust your partner, you refuse to love them and the conflict will eventually remain unresolved. In my personal experience, it is easier to trust your partner when they are equally honest with you.

5. Apologise and accept apologies

When you know you’re wrong, it is always best to be responsible and apologise. It doesn’t make you the lesser in the relationship, it means that you care enough to take a step, in order to save your relationship rather than being ignorant. And it is equally crucial to accept apologies and forgive the other person by giving them a chance to fix their mistakes.

Suggested Reading: Changed Priorities, Lost Connection: Women Share Why Their Relationships Didn’t Work Out

Growing up with my partner, I have realised that it takes a lot of efforts, understanding and forgiveness to build a loving and healthy relationship. I have learnt that none of us are perfect human being and we are bound to make numerous mistakes. But what is important is that we learn from them and be better since there’s always scope of improvement. And no matter how hard it may sound like, it is always worth it when you are with the right partner.

Views expressed by the author are their own.