Khandan Ki Izzat: One Tag That Makes Numerous Women Suffer In Silence

Society’s obsession with making women feel that they are the “Khandan ki Izzat” (family’s reputation), restricts them in various ways and suffer in silence. In order to protect that so-called reputation according to their standards of modesty is a never-ending dilemma, and women are the victim of it. They are forced to act submissive, helpless, and stay quiet even if it is threatening to life. This is just to preserve their hollow egos, fragile reputation, and so-called Khandan ki Izzat.

Making women believe and setting the perception of 'how can they be a good woman" is induced during social conditioning. Women are taught to endure pain and suffering endlessly, which results in suppressing voices. Why women are asked to tolerate? Simple, a family's reputation, according to society, honour lies within the women of the house and nothing must harm the honour.  It is the ultimate trick society uses to deceive all naive women from a very young age to endure offences. Why should someone endure offences against them? Why does society expect women to stay silent instead of seeking help? Can't we for a second strip of the burden of honour?

Bombay HC On Women's Reputation

Bombay High Court has also reiterated the same. In a case, the Bombay High Court quashed the magistrate's order discharging a male teacher from Zilla parishad school who allegedly sexually harassed a woman with a disability. Justice Govind Sanap claimed that in cases like these women often hesitate and don't speak up against the offence because of the fear that it might affect not only their own but also their family’s reputation. The most common reason one can understand behind this is the blame game this society plays with the survivor of such incidents which is called victim blaming.

 Justice GA Sanap observed reputation of a woman in our society “are preserved and protected like invaluable jewels" and that they are “reluctant to come out in open against such a crime".

It is true! Society always takes pride in blaming women for all the wrongdoings of men, they blame a woman for everything- be it a cheating husband or heinous crimes of rape or sexual assault. When cases of sexual assault come to light, society always makes accusations against her for provoking the accused man instead of holding him accountable. Men have the privilege of getting the benefit of the doubt or a set belief that women might have done something forcing men to act in a certain way. Women helplessly endure it because they might not have any other way to get rid of it.

Suggested Reading: How Important Is Marriage To Urban Educated India?

Society blames the women, but more than that their families are criticised for the upbringing they gave to the women. Mostly due to the fear of this happening to their families women often decide to be silent about any crimes happening against them. They are also provoked by their families in most cases because they prioritise their hollow reputation defined by society more than the sanity of the women in their families. Choosing a non-existential and hollow reputation, it's not hard to understand how little society cares for women.

The never-ending game of victim blaming that society plays against women till now has caused numerous women to endure the bad things that others put them through and has made them suffer in complete silence instead of speaking up and seeking help. But as now women are getting more independent and aware of their rights, they are speaking up against the wrong without getting manipulated by society in any way, they have learned the lesson that being born a female doesn't means they need to endure pain or suffer in any other way.

The families of such women need to understand that if society can't protect the women in your family from such horrendous crimes, then why adhere to its standards? The sanity and modesty of a woman are far more important than someone's reputation, that too being defined by society. Not only the families of women survivors but also every family in general needs to keep this thing in their mind, if you blame a woman for a man’s wrongdoing, the next person to endure such crime can be someone from your family.

Creating a safe space for all the women where they can speak up against all the crimes they face and where criminals can be held accountable for their actions is much more needed to be achieved than the reputation they make you believe it. The weight of being the “khandaan ki izzat” shouldn't be forced on women, they are humans who deserve to be treated and allowed to live free like one instead of being kept inside a locker like a piece of jewel.