In Karnataka, Bajrang Dal disrupted a ladies’ party going on in a hotel at night. The Dal called it against culture for women to stay out late at night or have parties alone. Till now, the problem of society was with women going out with men. But now it is opposing women going out with other women too? Why do such groups feel threatened by women’s autonomy? Why can’t they stand women’s choices?
The group took immense pride in disrupting the women’s party, they were hooting and criticising women outside the Shivamogga Hotel in Karnataka, as the video reflects. Isn’t this shameful? Men raising slogans over the mere party. Doesn’t this show how fragile their egos are that cannot even digest having fun on their own? In our society, everyone wants to regulate a woman and her life. But hardly okay to accept a woman can claim her freedom as and when she likes.
Often women are slut-shamed for going out with men. Usually, victim-blamed for being caught up in an unwanted situation. If a woman is seen with a man who is unrelated, she is assumed to be characterless by propagators of sanskar and sexually available by sexual predators. As a result, many women are tagged ‘forward’ for choosing freedom and making bold choices.
Rather than reprimanding men for their behaviour, women are made to reconsider their decisions. Women are told not to go out with men or even trust them. Harassment is considered a man’s tendency because of the privilege assigned to his gender. So women need to pull themselves back if men stand with their jaws open. This is the reason why even today, women are not allowed to go out with men. Even if the man is trustworthy, women have to restrain themselves and stay at home.
But now society has problems even women accompany each other. If women can find trustworthy friends in each other which also saves them from the jaws of men and society, then what is the problem?
Bajrang Dal Disrupts A Ladies’ Party
Unfortunately, there is a problem and it lies in society’s mindset that women cannot do anything in life without men. On one side society refrains women from being with men. On the other hand, make sure women are unable to pursue things without the presence of men. For instance, If a woman wants an education, she must seek the permission of her male relatives who would accompany her to college. If women have desires, men cannot imagine that these needs can be fulfilled without them. Be it sexual desires or leisure activities such as shopping, partying, travelling, adventure, or anything that might keep a woman happy. Men cannot perceive women doing it all on their own.
This is the reason why Bajrang Dal, a personification of patriarchal ideas, cracked into a women’s party. For them, neither it is right for a woman to be out at night nor is it right to be so without men. And even if women were with men, they would still be criticised for not staying at home. Basically, society wants women to stay at home and be dependent on men for their needs and desires. They are not expected to take their life into their hands and be independent. They are not allowed to seek happiness on their own.
But dear society, women have the right and the freedom to be happy on their own. They have the right to have fun at night as much as men do Women are free to loiter around on the streets at night as much as men do. When it is okay for men to party at clubs late at night without being judged for anything, it should be so for women too. It is in these sectors that we need equality. Equality is not about lifting equal weights as men. It is about gaining equal rights as men.
Views expressed are the author’s own.
Suggested Reading: Rituals Over Rights: Can We Shift Our Focus To What’s Good For Women?