Shouldn't Porn Depict The Awkwardness During Sex?

Awkwardness during sex is what makes is real and often desirable.

Rudrani Gupta
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A lot of us watch porn because it promises an adventurous and exciting sex life. I too shed my inhibitions towards sex and decided to watch porn for the first time at the suggestion of a friend. But even after watching it, I was not convinced that porn is crucial for good sex life. Of course, most of the content tilts towards showing us different ways to make the time in bed exciting but what it misses on is the reality. Just like a film, porn is based on reality but doesn't entirely reflect reality. Porn fails to capture the awkwardness that partners might feel during an encounter, especially if it is their first time.

Sex is exciting. But it is awkward too. It is about seeing each other naked and touching each other in a way which might have made us cringe in the past. There are many moments of awkwardness when partners have sex in real life. For example ">vaginal farts or farts in general, misplaced penetration, a particular position going wrong, the vagina being too tight for normal penetration, lack of foreplay, lack of pleasure or failure to communicate needs.

Awkwardness During Sex: Let's talk about it

But no one talks about these awkward moments during sex- neither in Bollywood movies nor porn. These films set up false expectations of sex being a smooth process that happens organically. Porn depicts sex as the perfect combination of assured excitement, automation and perfection. But if it leaves the part where the couple hesitates to take the initiative and struggles to pleasure each other, often failing to evoke the desired response from a partner.

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Awkwardness during sex is what makes it real. Who will take the initiative? Am I doing it right? Should I try this position or will the partner be offended? I don’t know how this works, can you please explain? Communicating this awkwardness during sex is a two-way process which helps partners bond better and can be as exciting as porn.

So those who see porn to be efficient in bed, please understand sex doesn’t become exciting on its own. It is a false depiction of sex that makes you believe that once partners give their consent, then there is no stopping and everything will just happen on its own. You have to work on it to make it exciting. You have to pass through the awkward moments and have communication during sex. Awkwardness also acts as a common factor for a couple, a mutual feeling that the two partners can share and cherish forever.

The false expectations of perfection set by porn can deter a person from sex, as it might not meet their expectations. Which is why, we need to demand a more real depiction of sex in porn, for the sake of our own sexual health. Sex is a basic need experienced by all. What we might want from sex might differ, but one thing is for sure, these expectations can be better shaped if porn films take it upon themselves to not fake it.

Views expressed are the author's own.

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