A Life Rebuilt: Geetika Lidder On Challenges Of Being An Army Wife & More

In a deeply moving episode of Rulebreaker, Geetika Lidder, the wife of the late Brigadier L.S. (Toni) Lidder, opens up about her life after the tragic 2021 helicopter crash that claimed her husband’s life. The crash, which also took the lives of General Bipin Rawat, India’s Chief of Defence Staff, and other senior military officers, left Geetika to navigate the challenges of being a single parent and raising her daughter alone. In this candid conversation with Shaili Chopra, Geetika shares her story of courage, resilience, and the lessons she has learned along the way.

Recounting the Helicopter Crash

Geetika Lidder vividly recounts the day of the crash, a day that began like any other. Her husband, Brigadier Lidder, was accompanying General Bipin Rawat on a routine flight to Wellington. She recalls the last moments she shared with him, the casual goodbye, and the mundane details of packing his lunch and snacks, unaware that it would be their final interaction.

The news of the crash came as a shock. Geetika describes the agonising five-hour wait for updates, a period filled with uncertainty and dread. Despite the initial hope that her husband might have survived with injuries, the reality soon set in. The arrival of senior officials at her home confirmed her worst fears. 

The Challenges of Being an Army Wife

Geetika reflects on the unique challenges of being an army wife. The constant fear for a spouse’s safety, the long periods of separation, and the need to maintain a positive outlook are all part of the life she led. She acknowledges that while she was no stranger to the dangers of her husband’s profession, nothing could have prepared her for the tragedy that unfolded.

The life of an army wife is one of sacrifice and strength. Geetika speaks about the silent fears that accompany every goodbye, the prayers for safe returns, and the resilience required to keep the family together. Her story sheds light on the often-overlooked struggles of military families, who live with the knowledge that every day could bring life-altering news.

Navigating Grief and Finding Acceptance

In the aftermath of the crash, Geetika found herself grappling with profound grief. She describes the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—and how she reached the final stage of acceptance within just 12 hours of the incident. This rapid progression was not a sign of detachment but rather a necessity. With a teenage daughter, elderly parents, and a family that depended on her, Geetika knew she had to be strong. She knew that her husband would have wanted her to carry on with strength and dignity. 

Motherhood and Raising a Daughter Alone

As a single mother, Geetika faced the daunting task of raising her daughter, Ashna, alone. She speaks candidly about the challenges of motherhood, particularly in the wake of such a profound loss. Geetika’s relationship with her daughter became a source of strength for both of them. She made a conscious effort to model resilience and positivity, knowing that her daughter was looking to her for guidance and support.

Geetika’s approach to parenting is rooted in honesty and openness. She shares how she reassured her daughter that they would get through the tragedy together, emphasising that the worst was behind them and that better days lay ahead. This message of hope and perseverance has been a cornerstone of their journey as a family.

The Struggles of Infertility and Societal Pressures

Geetika also opens up about her struggles with infertility and the societal pressures that come with it. She recounts the pain of multiple miscarriages and the invasive questions she faced from well-meaning but often insensitive acquaintances. In a society where motherhood is often seen as the ultimate validation of a woman’s worth, Geetika’s experiences highlight the emotional toll of infertility and the stigma that surrounds it.

Her daughter, Ashna, is described as a “miracle baby,” a child born after years of struggle and heartbreak. 

Life as a Single Parent

Raising a daughter as a single parent has brought its own set of challenges. Geetika speaks about the loss of confidence that comes with being the sole decision-maker in the family. She reflects on how her husband’s presence would have provided a sense of security and balance, but she has learned to navigate life on her own terms.

Despite the difficulties, Geetika has found ways to empower her daughter while also ensuring her safety and well-being. She emphasises the importance of teaching young women to be confident but cautious, a lesson that resonates deeply in today’s world.

A Career in Education: Finding Purpose and Fulfillment

Geetika’s career in education has been a source of fulfillment and purpose. She began teaching school children in 2013 and has since found joy in working with young people. Her role as an educator allows her to stay connected to children, a connection she cherishes deeply. She describes the time she spends in the classroom as the happiest part of her day, a reminder of the positive impact she can have on the lives of others.

Lessons from Geetika Lidder’s Journey

Geetika’s story is one of resilience, faith, and the enduring power of love. Her ability to find strength in the face of tragedy, to raise her daughter with courage and compassion, and to build a meaningful career is an inspiration to all. Her book, I Am A Soldier’s Wife, is a deeply personal account of her journey, offering readers a glimpse into the life of a woman who has faced unimaginable loss and emerged stronger.

Her message to others is simple yet just so profound: live each day as if it were your last, cherish the moments with your loved ones, and find the strength to carry on, no matter what life throws your way. 

Geetika Lidder’s journey is a reminder that even in the darkest times, there is light to be found. Her courage, resilience, and unwavering love for her family serve as an inspiration to us all.