There may be many things why two individuals living under the same roof or different may hate each other. Even though they may be bonded by a very special relationship, these two women can find nooks in probably everything the other one does. Hate my mother-in-law
The bitter-sweet rivalry that goes around with mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Here’s what daughters-in-law have to say about what they hate in their mothers-in-law.
The daughters who leave their own homes behind to adjust to in completely new household face a lot of challenges from the mother-in-law of the family. The mother-in-law feels as if her authority over the house, kitchen, and most importantly her raja beta is over. And in desperate need to regain this virtual authority, she takes undesirable steps which end up hurting the girl who has just left everything from her house to her surname.
1. Continuous nagging around
Just because you do it in a certain way doesn’t mean, every person must. A girl who’s comes from a completely different living environment. As her habits would be different, she gets nagged by the mother-in-law endlessly causing frustration. I mean frown-up individuals being nagged all the time are going to react. So stop the nagging, please.
2. Treating the husband as a kid
If a man is old enough to get married, he is old enough to make his own decisions. Mother-in-law, please stop treating him like a kid. This affects the decisions that the couple takes on their own.
3. Not giving privacy when needed
It’s a married couple and definitely going to need their privacy. Not just during the nights, it’s not just sexual privacy. It privacy to fight without being judged, its privacy to talk without anyone eavesdropping, and many more. So rather than intruding in other’s lives, cherishes your own hobbies.
4. Pressurising to get pregnant
My uterus, my decision. Please stop pressurising the daughter-in-law to get pregnant. She may not be mentally ready for a baby. They want to adopt. There are many financial decisions to be taken before having a baby. And it’s not like the nagging of the mother-in-law will get the daughter-in-law pregnant. So best is to give the couple their own chance at life.
5. Questioning work timings
There are no ideal timings of work. Career can be very consuming and late nights are very common. So stop judging the work timings and stop making such a big fuss out of it. Instead, support the daughter-in-law in her career. Allow her to excel.
6. Dragging the upbringing or family
A daughter-in-law once said, ” I don’t mention my parents as much as my saas (mother-in-law) does.” If a girl back answers then the mother-in-law complains saying that, “Sanskaar nhi sikhae beti ko,” (Her parents did not teach her any manners. If she fails to cook a tasty meal or manage the rations well, the mother-in-law again complains about how the parents couldn’t teach her daughter to be a good wife.
And that’s the whole point. A girl is not a wife, daughter-in-law only. She is her own person and hence her parents did not teach her how to be a mute slave. In fact, they taught her how to earn her own money and voice her opinions out when unnecessary people judge her. Plus it’s not even necessary that an individual will always rely on her upbringing. What about her personal choices and why aren’t they respected.
7. Making kitchen a battleground
The kitchen is a place to cook and leave. It’s not a gossip ground nor is it a battleground. So restricting the use of certain vessels, and taking away the freedom of choice is completely wrong. Some mothers-in-law don’t let the daughters-in-law cook even when it might be her hobby just to establish superiority. On the other hand, some assign very strict orders which need to be fulfilled.
The choice of what will be made in the food, the likes, and dislikes of the daughter-in-law are never asked. And she is simply supposed to sit and swallow whatever is cooked. That’s completely unfair and hate-worthy.
8. Playing the victim
Maybe you had a hard time with your mother-in-law and hence feel like torturing our daughter-in-law will bring you back ceratin satisfaction. But it wouldn’t, obviously. Instead, give the opportunity that you didn’t get as a daughter-in-law and be a better version of a mother-in-law.
Some mothers-in-law switch between the good and bad face like a chameleon. These are the ones shown in TV serials. They play all pitiful in front of the other members of the family. But perform atrocities on their daughter-in-law. Ultimately they end up complaining that a new girl took her son away from her. To such mothers-in-law, digest the truth well, birds leave the nest. Your raja beta has grown up and is married now. The couple will make their own mistakes as it’s their life. Give them space.
9. Forcing religious beliefs
Many mothers-in-law do this as the number of intercaste marriages has increased. A girl following a different faith or religious beliefs is forced to follow the beliefs of that of the husband’s family. This act is completely unlawful. Even the Indian Constitution gives every individual the freedom of religion and no mother-in-law can take it away.
The worst thing that happens during the mothers of raja betas visit the girl’s house for meeting them is body shaming. Pointing out the imperfections that probably she herself has in the girl. These mothers don’t give a damn about what kind of imperfections their sons have. All they want is a perfect bahu or shall we call it a robot who works endlessly without having an opinion and looks exactly the same till she dies.
Body-shaming done by mothers-in-law can seriously affect the mental health of the daughters-in-law and causes negative impacts like low self-worth and depression. As the daughter-in-law desperately tries to manage the household, in-laws, husband, and office, she starts losing her me time which results in illnesses and bad mental health. Hence, please stop body-shaming anyone around you.