#Personal Stories

Papa Nahi Manenge: How Many Young Romances Has This Line Killed?

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From the perspective of a parent, getting their children married to a person of the same caste, same religion, respectable profession, same social status, and being acquainted with the family is an ideal arrangement. But is this what we really want? We may not desire the same things in a life partner as our parents do, but why can’t parents acknowledge that?

Since childhood, our parents ask us to obey them and take all life decisions as per their advice and aspirations. However, many of them oppose our marriage choice as they feel we are not mature for such decisions. They are insecure about getting their child married in an unfamiliar environment, getting cultural shocks and being mocked by their in-laws’ sides ‘concerned relatives.’ They first consider society, then the family, and finally us. Thus many love stories in our society meet a premature end as papa nahi manenge.

How young romances die to appease parents

Many Bollywood films have glorified unrequited or unfulfilled love. Films like Goliyon Ki Raasleela Ram-Leela, Ishaqzaade, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, and others have made us believe that you have to sacrifice everything for love. However, what you really have to do is talk to your parents and figure it out.

Many LBGTQ couples face problems in opening up to their parents about same-sex love and fear being humiliated or punished. Is it fair that in 2022, a person should have keep their sexual orientation and relationship in a closet simply because of parental pressure?

As parents, it is a difficult decision to trust us, but remember that the life choices we make will be implemented for a lifetime. To grow as adults we need the agency to figure things out on our own, and this includes getting to choose our life partner. Many times parents do agree to the proposal of marriage. But this is not the end yet.

Suggested Reading: Desi Aunties Approve Of Romance On Kundali Bhagya, But Beti Isn’t Allowed To Date

Parents tend to interfere during the course of the engagement, marriage, and during married life to such an extent that it leads to breaking up of relationships. Decisions like- traditional bridal dress, no public display of affection during wedding photoshoot, no couple dance, no speeches, and most importantly no breaking wedding traditions create conflicts amongst family and the couple.

At times the parents expect the couple to make decisions that might not work in their favor, leading to separation and divorce. This fuels family conflicts and unhealthy relationships.

Dear parents, all we really need is your understanding, support, and proper guidance to take major life decisions like marriage. Please do not end our romance for sake of log kya kahenge. We do not want problems from you, only your blessings.

This article has been published under SheThePeople’s Young Writers Training Program. Views expressed are the author’s own.