#Personal Stories

I decided not to invite my father to my wedding. Wondering why?

My Wedding Card story: I decided not to invite my father to my wedding. Wondering why? Here is my story.

Born and raised in a middle-class family in Delhi, I am the second among three siblings. A rebellious girl who always spoke up for her rights. I was born from the strong womb of a very strong lady, who suffered and sacrificed her entire life for her daughters. She lived through domestic violence and tolerated a husband who didn’t deserve her and always cursed her for bringing three daughters into his life. He always wanted a son.

After completing our 12th grade, we became financially independent and started earning and taking financial responsibility and making our decisions about whom we wanted to marry. My parents’ toxic marriage ended after 30 years. Initially, my father moved to the top floor of our house. At that time, only my elder sister was married. Eventually, my younger sister and I also got married.

At the time of my marriage, I decided not to invite him (My father) to my marriage. According to our society, on a wedding card, the bride’s father’s name should be present along with his parents (paternal grandparents of the bride). However, on my wedding card, my mother’s name was the only name present and instead of my father’s parents, I mentioned my mother’s parents (my maternal grandparents). After that, we decided not to keep our mother alone though they both live on different floors. We took our mother, bought a flat for her near where we lived and she never went back. Our mother took very good care of us and we gave her all the happiness we could.

According to our society, on a wedding card, the bride’s father’s name should be present along with his parents (paternal grandparents of the bride). However, on my wedding card, my mother’s name was the only name present.

Mine was an arranged marriage but I was very clear that I will not lie to the groom’s family about my parent’s relationship. Before taking the match forward, we told my husband’s parents we are living separately from my father and they were kind enough to understand it and supported us. The next concern was financing the wedding. My mother who hardly used to get any money from her husband was able to give a good portion from the savings which she had kept aside over the years. My sisters helped me too. I had put my savings as well to meet the wedding expenditures as well. This way we carried it out collectively and we are content. This made us realise the biggest lesson of life, people will only give you advice but no one will support and aid you when it comes to finances. One has to take a stand on their own.

People were shocked to witness such a scenario as women are considered to be a weaker gender. The wedding card printer confirmed with us that if the content is correct. There were some obstacles in our path, but we took it positively and without thinking of the world we gave importance to ourselves. We divided the responsibilities as there were lots to do, so mom took care of guests and food, one of the sisters coordinated for dresses, parlour, card content, etc and the other sister and I did the running around. We four have the strongest bond in this world. We are happy in our lives and try to make each other’s life happy too.

The views expressed are the author’s own.

Picture Credit: Pinky Chawla