Like every other girl whose thoughts, ideas, opinions and dreams are scrutinised by not just her immediate family members but relatives too, so are mine. To start with my sob story, I’ve not been heard in my own home since I was a kid. My opinions were always pushed down by what my parents thought was right for me.
From not letting me take up the role of house captain in school because I had to focus on my studies to choosing what field of study I should get into every decision in my life has been taken by others.
So, I’ve been faking a goody girl image to my folks. I have lied to them about group studies for a simple night out, about winning a new bag in a competition when that was a gift I bought for myself from my first income, I lied about everything. From A-Z.
As I grew older so did the pile of lies
Let me tell you, some of those choices have made me who I am today. I am forever grateful for my past and the decisions that have brought me here today.
Two months ago I opened up to my family about wanting to marry this man. I feel we are compatible. He supported me, loved me, and wants to see me grow. I can be vulnerable with him. So I let the cat out of the bag.
The hiccup was his health condition
My family is of the opinion that I’m ruining my life, that he tricked me into falling in love with him. That I have to choose either him or my family. Every day is a fight, every day I have to prove to the people, who I’ve lied to all my life, about this one truth I don’t want to hide. So I did my research, I met specialists, doctors, priests, elders, anyone and everyone who would help me convince my family. And every day I will continue to fight. Till the day I receive their blessings.
With blame being thrown about like confetti on me, I started to lose my mind, anxiety attacks, sleepless nights, and hours of crying all leading me to seek professional help. And still trying with every inch of my body to prove my love for my man.
I want to share my story out there and ask why when marriage is looked upon as the ultimate goal for a women even today still she is not free to choose whom she wants to spend her life with?
The author is a speech-language pathologist living in Mumbai. The views are the author’s own.