#Personal Stories

No Knights, No Armour – Prepare for Your Battles, Get Your Family to Stand By You

Girl Generic Unsplash Kyle Broad, harassment, marriage, relationship, thinking woman, housework during pandemic, women hide their age, feminist parents, crying in adulthood, successful indian women, harassment by mother-in-law harassment

When you grow up watching fairy tales and princess stories you compromise on your intellect about men being knights in shining armour. But life, my dear, has a way with everybody to pull us back from dreamland and prepare for what comes ahead.

I come from a small city call Gaya, in Bihar. You might know it with respect to Bodhgaya and enlightenment of Buddha. Yes! Now you know.

I encountered my first traumatising moment in life while on my way back home,when I was somewhere between 10-13 may be.  I had just started moving around alone my mom and dad had moved to a different city for his job and I lived with grandfather, aunt and a servant. Me being carefree and fast walker I paced my way back home as it was a quiet lane in the middle of the afternoon with a few shops open. Out of nowhere I felt a lightning bolt, a man had groped me and run away. I hated the feeling, I didn’t understand it, I didn’t know how to deal – just pure disgust with myself, shivering I went straight to my room and cried. Whom should I have called? Mom? Yes but I didn’t know what to tell her or mostly how to tell her.

A few months later, I was travelling from New Delhi to Bihar, and was waiting for the train with my family. It was a very crowded day at the railway station and I kept feeling something on my waist, like a crawl, but a creepy one. My  gut feeling knew it was a bad touch again, and my mind was still overwhelmed by the last  experience. I moved my arm back and engraved my nails as deep as I could. A quiet shriek and quick movement and I saw a middle aged man just move away. Disgusted again.  Still quiet about it, because neither any fairy tales nor the Bollywood films had prepared me, nor we ever had a talk about these things at home.

As I grew up I came face to face with eve-teasing, got used to being followed on my way home and many such things. Every incident brought out the warrior in me, I kept fighting back, sometimes pushing, sometimes shouting or do anything I could quickly work upon.

After a similar run-in in college I finally opened up to my parents. This time I was badmouthed and rumoured by a girl and ill-treated in a relationship. I finally poured my heart out first to my sisters, then to my parents and to my surprise they were surprised and in remorse of not preparing me. I asked them openly why I had to go through it?

They told me, to be myself and no one can define it better for me then I myself. For the wrongs I came across, my family first felt sorry and then they just promised they’ll never fail me again in my battles and help me on my purpose of life. In the end you are on your own. You are your own knight so please wear your shining armour and get ready for all battles that come your way.

The views expressed are the author’s own