After almost four years of being single, I returned to the dating game. I signed up on a matrimonial website and precisely put down my preferences so my DM doesn’t get swamped. This time around, my preferences and priorities were in order, yet I couldn’t escape the creeps. While the good thing was that I could spot the red flags right when they were yellowish-orange, I wasn’t spared from having to communicate with a bunch of weirdos.
Given that I’m a single mom in my late 20s, I'm looking for someone older than me. Unbelievably, men in their 30s could be so immature and irresponsible. Don't they learn anything from a failed relationship and want to do better the second time? After being on the platform for about a month, I haven’t met one single man with whom I have had to part ways due to sensible reasons.
Creeps On Matrimonial Sites
I wasn’t even on a call for five minutes with this guy, and he had already started badmouthing his ex-wife. Initially, it appeared like he was lamenting, but then I realised it was pure trash talk. He was so enthusiastically cracking wife jokes and woman jokes, assuming that it would entertain me. In less than 30 minutes on the call, he started praising me by putting down his ex-wife. He presumed that I would be flattered, but being someone who advocates sisterhood, his game didn’t work on me.
This guy had seen my matrimonial profile, found my social media handle, and pinged me. Since his profile seemed authentic, I engaged in a chat with him. Within a few conversations, I realised that we weren’t really compatible, and I respectfully informed him of the same. Just when I thought it was done, he started pinging me on social media non-stop. He took my spare number from the website and called me numerous times until I had to block him everywhere. The cherry on the cake was that he claimed to be in "love" with me.
This man started off on a very nice and sweet note. The conversation was going pretty well when he suddenly shot off a series of questions that creeped me out! He asked if I would be "excited" when a stranger checked me out. He also wanted to know if I would fantasise about the stranger while I was having sex with him. Just as I felt like puking, he sent another message saying that he expects me to do so because it turns him on! Even if this was a kink, isn't this topic in a first conversation a ">red flag?
So, this guy seemed like a good conversationalist until he started making decisions about "our" future. Note that we were just talking for about 30 minutes. He wanted me to shift to the US, leave my kid with my parents until we figured things out, have another kid in a couple of years, and immediately talk to my parents about the same because he liked me and was ready for marriage. He even wanted me to send him my address so that his parents would come to discuss further proceedings with my parents the very next day.
This man's profile read that he was divorced. He told me that he was married to his cousin, and things didn’t work out due to family disputes. A few conversations later, I sensed something was off, and after probing, he confessed that he was apparently awaiting divorce in a contested divorce case. When I called him out for lying on a matrimonial platform, he had the audacity to admit that he was frustrated and wanted to have fun with "good girls," who can only be found on matrimonial sites.
Photo credit: GQ
Suggested Reading: What Is Guarantee That Matrimonial Websites Are Safer Than Dating Apps?