They Said, Ah! You’ve Three Daughters, But My Abbu Is My Feminist Hero

My Feminist Hero: He is the reason I believed in love and affection. What the support of his gripping fingers and experienced shoulders mean to me and the warmth I share with him can never be expressed in words. I fall short of expressions every time I try to pen down something about him. 

I was born and brought up in a Muslim family in a town in Karnataka where getting married as a teenager is common. 

My childhood was flanked by questions posed at my dad, “Ah! You’ve three daughters, quite a responsibility!”  “Who will look after you when they are married?” Or “Oh, you should have had at least one son,” the relatives would question.

I can still visualise those incidents; they pass by like a swiftly blowing wind. 

In this era, my dad proudly adhered to his faith i.e. every child, a baby boy or a baby girl, is a gift from the Almighty. He has raised them to the best of his ability and guided them in choosing their careers, personal choices and their demands have been his priority. 

In this era, my dad proudly adhered to his faith i.e. every child, a baby boy or a baby girl, is a gift from the Almighty

As the years rolled by, he supported me like the stiff stick that holds a climber and creeper. He stood by me in solving all the problems.

He enabled us to prove that we are equally able in all walks of life.  

When others’ asked their daughters to talk less and in a lower voice, my dad asked us to participate in Debates and Elocutions. While other girls of my age are expected to be good at cookery and household chores, I was always asked to study, explore and never settle for something less. 

I see girls getting married in their teenage, but I on the other side was always motivated to work after I completed my formal education. 

Like the stories of other adolescents, I have had many circumstances in which I was about to lose hope. But….. my DAD, as usual, extended his affectionate hand towards me. It might be bunking classes, making wrong personal decisions or quitting a job…He has always been with me as the captain anchoring the ship.

He is “The Hero” who nodded positively to move to Bangalore for my career.

I had several arguments and discussions with my family about moving to a metropolitan city to start life anew. Spending most of my life in a largely middle-class town where orthodoxy ruled, a metropolitan city was a hard nut to crack. I wanted to move ahead and lead a peaceful and carefree life. 

My abbu supported me in every possible way he could; He managed everything. It was not as easy as I had thought. Indeed, it was a hard row to hoe. 

The values I imbibe, have been taught by my father. He fought many battles in bringing us up. He had his challenges but he never missed a chance to prove who is a Feminist in the real sense of the term. He is a man who undoubtedly believed in Equality. 

I am glad and proud that I am a daughter of a feminist hero who believes women can do anything, just as well as anyone else.

This is an article by direct contribution. Views and info expressed is the author's own and not that of SheThePeople.