But don't worry, this Redditor u/SlenderBacon449 has got your back by creating a thread r/AskReddit which urges men to ask women those burning questions they always wanted to ask which are answered by women.
Men from different walks of life came together to ask their doubts on this viral thread as anonymity is comforting sometimes. From period doubt to parenting issues and dating life confusion, these Redditors asked bizarre, hilarious, and concerning questions.
'What to do When A Period Stain Is Showing?'
I feel many a time when we talk about destigmatising period myths and spreading period awareness, many non-menstruating people tend to miss out on these discussions due to a lack of access or maybe efforts, and as they don't experience some of the things first-hand it is hard to sometimes get into another's shoes and fully comprehend.
Rather than just being ignorant this Redditor chose to ask his genuine doubts under the mask of anonymity and got some genuinely interesting takes on his doubts by women.
by u/Bunnyisgod from discussion Men of Reddit, what are some questions you’ve always wanted to ask women, but couldn’t because it would seem weird?
Many men seem hesitant and in limbo about whether to approach a woman if they notice a period stain upon them and women seem oblivious to it and if yes, men seem dubious about the right way to approach them.
Most women Redditors seemed to agree to one this point of "Go tell them!" clearing the doubts of hanging back to tell a woman about her stain and how thankful she would be.
by u/rebirth542 from discussion Men of Reddit, what are some questions you’ve always wanted to ask women, but couldn’t because it would seem weird?
Other Redittors even shared tips from their personal life experiences to help men how to approach a woman without making it awkward for anyone. They suggested that if you are too shy to say it, you can use words like "you sat on ketchup/chocolate" and the girls would instantly catch the clue that they might have stained.
One Redditor shared how she roamed around all day in front of ten men with her stain as she was the only woman and they were too afraid to tell her. Another Redditor also shared a childhood incident when their teacher had spotting on her her white pants in front of the whole class.
by u/Re-lar-Kvothe from discussion Men of Reddit, what are some questions you’ve always wanted to ask women, but couldn’t because it would seem weird?
But the discussion just does not stop here as I noticed men might also need answers to how they can help in such situations. And to that, I thought of approaching some of my female friends to ask them for their insights and expectations.
"Women Want To Be Informed"
When I asked women in my life what would they want a man to do if they noticed a period stain on them? To which Komal said she would not only want a guy to let her know very normally, but she also expects him to not make a very big deal out of it. She also feels it would be awesome if a guy would also come up with a solution or a hand of help like bringing her tampons/pads, giving her a pullover or shirt to hide the stain and maybe just walking her to the restroom subtly walking behind her to hide the stain but not making it very obvious to people.
While Shatakshi opined that she would not just want a man to let her know very gently about the stain but she wishes they would not make them feel disgusted about staining a bedsheet, sofa cover, car seats or any other possible place but actually try to help to remove the stain and not make a menstruating person feel disgusting about it.
Women Share Their Life Experiences
Agreeing with the women on Reddit and offline, I experienced how many guys freak out even with the discussions while many women themselves react in estranged ways on the sight of a stain, making it not just a big deal but even shaming and embarrassing the menstruating person. I recall how my friend's mom even punished her for being "careless."
I also remember once one of my guy friends noticed a little girl playing in a park with a period stain on her yellow tunic. When the guy approached the little girl she did not seem to understand what he meant which made the situation for him clueless. As the little girl's mother was not at home and the guy feared that her friends might tease her, he called his sister not just to explain to the little girl about period while they arranged pads for her and took her to the park's public washroom where his sister helped her place a pad meanwhile waiting for her mother to return. They also gave her chocolates and water.
One of my male friends also shared that once when he approached a woman in the metro about her stain she and her group got upset about it and the situation escalated so much that he was almost about to get thrashed by the mob for being indecent. He also recalled his school memories when girls in his class used to shoo boys away when there had been a similar stain situation or when they used to curiously approach them about the secret seminars about periods held in schools just for girls. He shared how these experiences made him assume that it was indecent to approach women or talk to them about periods.
I opine that a man should not take it personally if they approach a woman to help her out in her period and if she refuses as they are already irritated or might have some personal reasons. But if a woman reacts badly it does not mean it is indecent or offensive to let a woman know about her stain as long as you are respectful but to also understand they are just trapped in the stigma around period and a man should simply look out to walk away.
Suggested Reading: Why Are Women Less Happy Than Men And How Can We Correct It