Clarity To Comfort: Why Women Are Turning To AI For Relationship Advice

Last week, a news headline caught everyone’s attention, "ChatGPT has saved our relationship." Abella Bala, a talent manager from Los Angeles, and her boyfriend, Dom Versaci, said they have been using AI for the past six months to resolve their arguments. But can AI really be helpful with relationships?

SheThePeople spoke to several Indian women to find out. Many shared that AI helps them understand their emotions better, some use it to work through conflicts, while others see it as a safe space to express their feelings without fear of judgment. As AI becomes a quiet companion in modern relationships, we explore how women are using it to navigate love, misunderstandings, and everything in between.

When and Why Women Turn to AI for Relationship Advice

For 23-year-old Aarohi* from Lucknow, who has been in a relationship for three years, AI has become her go-to tool for gaining clarity on relationship dynamics. "When we struggle to understand each other, I ask ChatGPT for a neutral perspective. It helps me see the situation objectively." She believes that these conversations help her step back and evaluate her emotions from an outsider's perspective. "Talking to AI helps me get clarity on my emotions as I am able to see my situation as a third person."

Shreya, a woman in her twenties from Noida, echoes a similar sentiment. For her, AI has not only helped evaluate her emotions but also has become an alternative to overthinking. "Whenever I'm overthinking a situation, I turn to AI for a neutral perspective. It’s like journaling, but with responses" 

She describes AI as a space for both clarity and venting, a digital confidant that allows her to unload emotions without fear of judgment.

"When emotions get tangled, I just vent to AI, and it helps me organise my thoughts knowing nobody has judged me or done a favour to me."

For 25-year-old Meera* from Gurgaon, AI gradually became a quiet companion in her two-year of relationship without her even realising it. "I have been doing it for a long time but only recently noticed how often I turn to AI for guidance. I found myself asking how to respond or what an ideal reaction would be, it became a habit without me even noticing. The responses help me ask myself what I truly feel, and once I know that, it’s easier to communicate with my partner.”

For some, the use of AI goes beyond occasional venting and becomes an intentional tool for self-improvement in relationships. 24-year-old Sanya* from Nagpur started using AI as a way to foster a healthier bond with her partner.  "I have always used AI bots to understand the behavioral changes and situations in my relationship. I started using AI ever since I wanted to build a healthy relationship with my partner. Getting some useful advice from AI made it easier for me to communicate and grow together." 

She sees AI not just as an outlet, but as a guide. "AI usually helps clarify my emotions and provides a fresh perspective on certain situations. I always ask AI to suggest methods that can make me a supportive partner or ways to keep my significant other happy."

Similarly, Rashi from New Delhi, who has been in a relationship for two years, shared, "There was a time when I had a small argument with my partner, and later, I turned to AI for clarity on my emotions. I just wanted someone to tell me if I had overreacted in the situation.  The response was thoughtful and human-like and that made me try it a few more times."

Why AI and Not a Friend?

Speaking to SheThePeople, these women shared why AI has become a go-to for relationship reflections and not humans. Aarohi sees AI as a tool for clarity, not comfort. "Talking to AI is more neutral, it lacks emotions and hence it gives a very balanced perspective. So I use it only when I need clarity of thoughts; for emotional support, I have friends and family."

Shreya echoes a similar thought, appreciating the detachment AI offers. "It definitely lacks the warmth and personal understanding of a human conversation but I just don’t have to worry about burdening someone else or facing emotional biases."

Meera prefers to keep daily relationship discussions between herself and her partner rather than turning to friends. "I don’t believe in discussing relationships with friends daily. But for big decisions, seeking advice from friends makes sense. For smaller things, AI is always at my fingertips, offering a neutral perspective without burdening anyone."

Rashi shared a similar perspective, stating,"In general, I don’t talk about my relationship with friends, so having this judgment-free space where I can express myself and still get thoughtful responses makes a big difference. It doesn’t replace human connection, but it fills a gap, reminding me that I’m not alone in what I’m feeling."

However, Sanya acknowledges that AI can’t replace human connection. "Having a close-knit conversation with a trusted friend can actually be therapeutic. Sometimes, we may do things in the heat of the moment that might be wrong. In such situations, having a close aide by your side to communicate feels much lighter and more effective compared to AI. Our cherished ones give opinions after putting themselves in our shoes, something AI lacks."

AI’s Most Thought-Provoking Replies

For many women, AI has provided not just advice but surprising moments of clarity. Aarohi recalls a time when self-doubt crept into her relationship. "During an argument with my partner, I felt like no matter what I did, I’d never be enough for him. But when I turned to AI, its affirming approach filled me with so much positivity. One suggestion stood out, 'You should try and treat yourself as good as you want to treat others.' It stuck with me."

Shreya had a similar moment of realisation when venting about a miscommunication with her mother. "AI pointed out that people express love in different ways and considered her side of feelings. It was such a simple reminder, but it shifted my perspective at that moment."

For Meera, AI has been a source of tough love. "I like that it gives a reality check, you are the one who needs to put in the effort to better yourself. I once asked why my happiness felt so dependent on others, even my partner, and AI’s response made me realise the work I had to do on myself rather than waiting for someone else to change things for me."

Rashi shared her surprising moment , "The way ChatGPT responds with, "Let me know — I’m here for you." It was such a simple message, but it is the kind of reassurance you’d hope to get from a close friend, and the fact that a bot could offer that kind of comfort genuinely surprised me."

AI and Relationship Decisions: Win, Fail, or Disaster?

So far, it’s clear that many turn to AI for relationship advice, seeking a neutral perspective. But has AI ever played a direct role in shaping a decision? If so, how did it turn out, was it a win, fail, or an unexpected disaster? Let’s hear it from them directly.

For Aarohi, AI serves just as a lens to see situations with more clarity rather than a direct influence on decisions, "I don't think it has ever influenced any decision that I made about my relationship. It just helps me see things with more clarity." Shreya echoed a similar sentiment, noting that while AI hasn’t dictated her choices, it has helped her reframe situations. "There have been times when I was about to react impulsively, and after talking it out with AI, I realised I needed to take a step back."

Sanya recalled struggling to connect with her partner’s friends despite being an extrovert and how following AI's advice turned win. "I continuously feared that they might judge me. AI suggested potential topics I could discuss and even gave me some tips to leave a positive impression. Even though I believe that a person should always be true to themselves, AI helped me refine my personality and bring out a version of myself that can easily form friendships with others."

However, not every AI-inspired decision has gone smoothly. Meera reflected on one instance where AI’s influence led to unexpected complications. "Lol, yes, and I feel now I can laugh at it, but at the time, it turned into a huge mess that took me a week to clear with my partner. I had asked AI about personality traits associated with people from a certain place, out of curiosity, but ended up subconsciously judging my partner based on those results. Eventually, he sensed something was off and confronted me."

Women Who Feel AI Can't Handle Relationships

While AI is becoming a go-to tool for many, not everyone is convinced. A woman in her 30s shared that she has never turned to AI for relationship advice, as she believes human connections and emotions can’t be replaced by a chatbot, no matter how knowledgeable it may be. Another woman in the same age group admitted she had never even considered the possibility. Similarly, two women in their 20s found the idea surprising and felt that discussing something as delicate as relationships with an AI, lacking true emotional depth, would be far from ideal.

Which side do you lean toward?

*Respondents have been given pseudonyms for privacy.