Girls, Gossip & The Gamma State Of Being

Dearest Gentle Reader,
Hehe, couldn’t help it, guys. The sacred intention was to take a break. Loll (not LOL okay). Laze. Stay far away from my laptop for once. But then Netflix and chill happened, too. Lo and behold, the next thing I know, I binged on Bridgerton season 3, devouring 8 full episodes in one massive gulp along with my Buddha bowl of ukdiche modaks.

There’s seriously something about the whole Regency era high society life that charms and intrigues in equal doses, if, that is, the viewer chooses to go beyond the obligatory breast-baring babes and derriere-denuding dudes. The not-so-subtle murmurs of feminism are hard to miss, then, think Eloise, the fiercely independent Bridgerton sibling or Portia Featherington, the single mum of girls navigating patriarchy head-on or Madame Genevieve Delacroix (my own particular fav), the modiste with a mindset and mission of her own!

The spotlight, though, stands firm this season on the “undeclared” Diamond of the First Water: Penelope Featherington, aka Pen to stans, who’s come a long way traversing the tight rope from social outcast to centre of attention! Call it serendipity or a conscious coincidence, then that it’s the power of the ‘Pen’ which the redhead wields with panache as the ton’s savage gossip columnist. Which brings me to the word that caught my attention big time: GOSSIP!

Out came the laptop, thinking the things that happened, and here I am clackety-clacking. What is gossip? Why do only girls apparently gossip? Is gossip necessarily a bad thing? How does history treat gossip? Does gossip actually play a role in society?

Is gossip really that bad?

Presenting her case at the “purple-bugs ball,” Pen highlighted the fact that no one took her seriously and as a young lady whom “no one listened to”, she suddenly felt intoxicatingly powerful writing the gossip column as the famed and feared Lady Whistledown. It made her feel worthy, seen, heard. “We all gossip,” she pointed out in her defence, for it forges bonds especially “for those of us who are told so little," however, "casting aspersions from the shadows" in a callous manner is what she deeply regretted and promised to aim her quill more “reasonably and responsibly” henceforth. 

Brings me then to the generally understood concoction of gossip that is a mix of malicious, informal talk about the private lives of people behind their backs in a disapproving and sometimes even “untrue” manner, as underscored by legit dictionaries. The synonyms in fact include rumours, hearsay, tattle, scandal, whisper, slander, and even dirt. Quite a bit of a shocker for a logophile like me. All this heavily negative connotation for a word so casually associated with women forever. The gender-loaded drift is terribly obvious in reel and real life, where any bunch of women socialising together are invariably “gossiping.” 

In a WAT experiment, the top word associations that came up for gossip were housewife, kitty party, maid, lady, and neighbour. Carl Jung’s quick route to the human subconscious was a rude eye-opener. 

Where does this association stem?

If you get digging, the answer is very simple, actually. It stems directly from Hamilton’s Law. Notice I don’t say Newton’s Law here because it goes beyond scientific action-reaction. It’s more to do with the psychology of actions and their consequences. The more you try to stifle it, chain it, manipulate it, oppress it, the more self-expression will break free – eventually. That’s gossip too then – opining, venting, brain-dumping pent-up emotions that eras of mental subjugation forced to stay hidden, unsaid, tacit, wordless – buried uncomfortably deep.

Today, though, a sign of the better times we apparently live in is the fact that of the three types of gossip –good, bad and neutral. Research claims it’s the neutral (simple info exchange) that rules. By a thin margin for sure, but that’s that. Also, the growing gender-neutralness of the gossip phenomenon is highlighted.

Gossip mechanics have also evolved due to the growing popularity of the gamma frame of mind and its focus on accelerated info processing, problem solving, connectivity and harmony in a world taught to bow unquestioningly to the assertive alpha, be it in office, home or society in general.

Gossiping has thus become a valuable tool of vicariously sharing lived experiences, building trust, and firming social bonds. Gossip psychology “involves complex motives and effects that regulate individual emotions which can trigger the brain's reward system and provide a sense of pleasure and control” as long as it does not “stem from insecurity, jealousy or a desire to aggress.”

We All Gossip; Get Over It!

Historically, gossip is said to have gained negative connotations around the Elizabethan era, where “witchcraft” was often used as an excuse to control women’s get-togethers and enforce social sabotage. However, gossip handled right has, over the years, come to serve fundamental social functions like “fostering cooperation, facilitating emotional connection, and therapeutic relief.”

Scholar Silvia Federici’s incisive research showed how gossip, an idea originally about women’s empowerment and independent speech, gradually “shifted to its current association with wayward morality and shame.” When in fact, free-flowing female convos have the power to fuel enriching systemic changes. So, dismissing gossip just as a damaging and frivolous pastime became an easy way to character assassinate or devalue women into silence to maintain the stereotypical power dynamics in society. 

Cicra 2025, research points to the evolutionary role of gossip for all sexes as a healthy emotional outlet. Authors underline the multifaceted role of gossip in a social setting, provided its manipulative potential is kept in check. It is a double-edged sword, moving precariously between normal and nasty, sharing and scheming, ruminating and rumour-mongering! Slay it right then!

What is life without a little gossip - Queen Charlotte quipped haughtily! The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, though, lies somewhere between the words of Edgar Allen Poe and Barbara Walters -- 'Those who gossip with you will gossip about you,' and 'Show me someone who never gossips, and I’ll show you someone who is not interested in people.'

Authored by Gunjan Pant Pande | Views expressed by the author are their own.