Beyond Romance And Duty: Films Where Women Finally Choose Themselves

For decades, the cinematic happily-ever-after has been a woman's reward for endurance, sacrifice, and choosing love above all else. We've been conditioned to expect the triumphant family reunion, the climactic kiss, the wedding that ties everything together with a neat bow. These were the only acceptable endings. 

​But some films refuse to play by that script. They offer a more radical and profound conclusion, the liberation of a woman walking away. These aren't stories of heartbreak, but of reclamation, portraits of women who defy duty, unravel their guilt, and find the breathtaking courage to say no to the world and a resounding yes to themselves.

Here are films that honour the audacity of women choosing their own becoming.

Frances Ha (2012) 

​Noah Baumbach's Frances Ha is a black-and-white ode to the chaotic and unglamorous journey of a young woman finding herself. Frances is a perpetually struggling dancer who drifts through friendships and apartments, feeling perpetually behind in life. The film's narrative is not driven by romance or a grand career ambition, but by her search for a sense of belonging and a place to call her own.

She is repeatedly forced to choose herself, to accept her messy reality, and to find joy in the small, imperfect victories of her life. Her ending is not a climactic resolution with a man or a job, but a quiet, moving acceptance of who she is, a self-realisation that is both personal and profoundly freeing.

Young Adult (2011): The Refusal to Be Redeemed

Jason Reitman's Young Adult offers a more cynical and complicated take on this theme. The protagonist, Mavis Gary (Charlize Theron), is a ghostwriter who returns to her hometown on a self-destructive quest to win back her married high school boyfriend. Unlike the other women on this list, Mavis is deeply flawed and often unlikable. The film's tension comes from her refusal to move on and accept a conventional, settled life.

Her "reclamation" is not a glorious moment of triumph, but a quiet and powerful acceptance of her own life and her own imperfections. She chooses to go back to her reality, flawed as it is, rather than conforming to a fantasy she outgrew. The film's ending is a defiant choice to embrace her complicated, lonely self rather than a false sense of happiness.

Poor Things (2023): A Manifesto of Female Becoming

Yorgos Lanthimos's Poor Things presents a surreal and darkly comedic tale of a woman's radical self-discovery. The protagonist, Bella Baxter, is a woman with a child's mind who embarks on a journey to explore the world and her own desires. She is courted by multiple men who seek to control her, but she constantly rejects their claims and expectations.

Bella's journey is an exhilarating pursuit of knowledge and experience, unfettered by social norms or the need for a man's approval. She chooses her own education, her own sexual freedom, and her own path, ultimately becoming a surgeon and returning to her "creator" on her own terms. Her final act is not to find a partner, but to fully embrace her autonomy, proving that she can define her life and her own brilliant mind on her own.

The Worst Person in the World (2021) 

​Joachim Trier's The Worst Person in the World is a tender and honest portrait of a woman's struggle with indecision and the pressure to have a perfect life. Julie, the film's protagonist, drifts between different careers and relationships, constantly questioning whether she's on the right path. Her journey isn't about finding "the one" or her dream job, but about the painful and beautiful process of realising that her worth isn't tied to a traditional, linear narrative.

The film's ending is a radical departure from cinematic convention, she doesn't end up with either of her love interests. Instead, she is alone, but in a state of quiet self-acceptance, finally comfortable with the unpredictability of her own life and the right to make her own mistakes.

Parched (2015): Riding Towards Freedom

Leena Yadav's Parched is a raw and poignant look at the communal liberation of women in a rural Indian village. The film follows four women, Rani, Lajjo, Bijli, and Champa, as they navigate and ultimately reject patriarchal traditions that have defined their lives. Lajjo, shamed for her infertility, leaves her abusive husband, Rani, a widow, breaks free from her grief and the confines of her arranged role, and Bijli, a dancer and sex worker, reclaims her body and her friendships.

Their collective story is a testament to the power of female solidarity. The film doesn't end with them finding new partners or conforming to society's expectations. Instead, their final, liberating act is to abandon their old lives together, a powerful and defiant choice that puts their own friendship and freedom above all else.

Little Women (2019) 

​Greta Gerwig's Little Women gives a classic tale a modern, feminist reimagining. The film's most poignant arc belongs to Jo March, who fiercely rejects the societal pressures to marry for money or status. She is determined to pursue her dreams of becoming a writer and to live an independent life.

While the film's ending sees her with a partner, it is her final act of reclaiming her novel and publishing it under her own name, not as a wife but as an author, that serves as the true climax. Her choice to negotiate for her own intellectual property over the objections of her publisher is a powerful statement about valuing her art and her own identity over all else.

Why Choosing Yourself Matters On Screen

When women on screen choose themselves, they perform a radical act. Their stories become more than personal journeys; they become a fierce defiance of cultural expectations that have long defined a woman's worth by her love, her duty, or her sacrifice. The act of walking away is never simple; it is a lonely path, fraught with guilt and the judgment of a world that demands women bend for others.

Yet, it is in this defiant step that courage is found, and a profound liberation is claimed. These films don't show us women ending their stories, but rather, reclaiming them. For these characters, choosing themselves isn't a conclusion, but a bold and powerful beginning of who they are truly meant to be.

Views expressed by the author are their own.