Cracking The 'Bro Code': How Male Friendships Go Beyond Verbal Affirmations

What goes into a friendship shared between men? Is it the superficial 'Punjabi style' banter shown in Bollywood movies, or men explicitly discussing women? The sad reality is that this is what we’ve grown up watching in Bollywood. Male friendships are often depicted through the seemingly perfect male lead, who discusses his relationship with the female lead with his best friend (at times, stereotypically Punjabi).

The best friend, who often serves as comic relief, either gives him relationship advice or simply jokes around. Some might express jealousy when they’re no longer the top priority. But the question still persists: Is this the reality of male friendships?

Do You Tell Your Bros "Good Night"?

Recently, a trend on social media has been reminding men to tell their friends "good night," which sounds like a rather simple gesture but peels back layers of complexity in male relationships. This wholesome trend has opened up a broader conversation about vulnerability, emotional expression, modern masculinity, and the quiet codes of male friendship.

Do Men Give Affirmations To Each Other?

Girl friends often hype each other up like "You go, girl!" or "Kweeeen!" What is the equivalent of this for men? Do they also verbally remind their friends that they love them and care for them? Do men tell their friends they look great? SheThePeople spoke to several Indian men to find out. They reflected on how their friendships are built on equality and mutual respect. Some also gave a shoutout to their crisis partners and spoke about how social norms often make it difficult for them to open up.

Varun Singh shared, “Some do, but guys are mostly less expressive due to the stigma associated with masculinity, so affirmations and shout-outs are often subtle or indirect.”

Krish Mittal reflected on how men often end up with long communication gaps before rekindling their bond. “We often end up not texting our friends for long periods. However, we always stand by each other’s side during tough times. We always resume our friendship from the point we left it.”

Advit spoke about how words of affirmation from friends help him during difficult times. “Absolutely, we do. I am mostly friends with boys older than me, so I get lots of affirmation and positivity. I believe if there weren’t people who supported me emotionally during my time of need, I would be a completely different person (in a bad way), or I might have taken some wrong steps. To be honest, I feel most of the guys give affirmations to each other. Obviously, there might be exceptions, but I haven’t stumbled across any.”

Many men reflected on how affirmations are rare in male friendships. While some find it awkward to offer comforting words, others find it difficult to express their support directly.

How Often Do You Open Up To Your Friends?

Aayush shared how having the same social circle helps them open up more easily with each other. “We all come from a similar household, hence we share a mutual understanding with each other. We all empathise with each other at the same level, and at times, we don’t express our emotions in words.”

Satyam reflected on how difficult he finds it to open up. “I have always found myself struggling while trying to open up to others. However, it is that one small, intimate circle of close friends where we discuss everything with each other. Often, I find it easier to open up to my friends who have similar interests to mine.”

While many found it easier to confide in close friends, men also reflected on the infrequent nature of these deeper conversations. For instance, almost everyone shares a friendship that is built on moments where they open up about their struggles and offer each other solicited advice.

The Bollywood-ification Of Male Friendships 

Many opened up about how they felt Bollywood’s stereotypical representation of friendship differs greatly from real life.

Advit reflected on the inaccurate portrayal in films and emphasised the importance of equality in friendship. "Considering some movies I’ve watched, male friendship is shown through the trope of ‘main character and the side character,’ where the side character's only role is to glorify the main couple. They portray the side character as dumb or like a simp—some naive character. But it doesn't work like that in real life; both individuals have different personalities, goals, and situations, but still choose to be together. Isn’t that beautiful? For reference, see Robert Baratheon and Ned Stark—that’s peak male friendship, portrayed like a fine wine.”

Varun Singh emphasised the complexity of real-life friendships. “Male friendships shown in Bollywood are exaggerated. Bollywood dramatises 'bhai-bhai' loyalty, but real friendships tend to be more nuanced and less theatrical.”

While Aayush felt that male friendship was beautifully portrayed in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, Krish Mittal disagreed with the portrayal of distance in Bunny and Adi’s friendship in Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani, as he believes that distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Unveiling The Mask of Toughness 

Krish Pache shared, “I have friends on both sides of the spectrum, so I think it really depends on the kind of friend. Like, if the friendship started with us taunting and joking around with each other, then even if someone says something that sounds hurtful, it doesn’t actually feel that way. But if it’s a more wholesome kind of friendship, where we’ve always been kind and supportive, then even small jokes or taunts can sting a bit.”

Speaking to SheThePeople, these men revealed how they often end up pretending to be nonchalant about certain things, shaped by the societal expectation to ‘toughen up.’ Many acknowledged that their bonds often formed through shared struggles and unspoken trauma, yet almost all pointed out the recurring communication gaps in their friendships.

What remains forever is the quiet loyalty and deep understanding many men hold for their close friends. In a world that doesn't always allow them space to be vulnerable, male friendships still find a way to offer silent strength, sometimes through words, often through presence.