In A World Of Quick Fixes, Is Lasting Love An Impossible Investment?

The euphoria of being on cloud 9, a bunch of red moist roses, caressing the skin, coffee dates and the lone star shining exclusively for a couple in love, is a very beautiful and great romantic story. But can the high of love, be sustained forever among couples? Love, as we all know is transient. It doesn’t stay true to its meaning for many lovelorn souls, who are continually in search of the elusive love of their life. Or must one now accept, that Valentine’s Day is only for the lucky few? For many, it is a reminder of the pangs of loneliness. Of feeling overwhelmed with the world celebrating togetherness. Acknowledging that only a handful of folks are fortunate to be blessed with Cupid’s arrow, covered in pink satin, and soft marshmallows and shot right on point in matters of the red beating heart. 

Most would agree that the love experienced and found at the start of a relationship, wavers and loses its momentum. It does not remain fluid like a flowing river and strong like the bark of a tree, after years of living life together. The EMIs, childbirth, adjustment to family life, and domestic pressures have killed many a love story to its untimely demise. 

The Forever Changing Expression Of Love 

Today, many speak of relationships that are termed as “situationships” friends with benefits, open relationships, polyamory and mutually beneficial friendships. In these situations, exclusivity is frowned upon. It is also argued that it stops a person from experiencing themselves via many other people, in this lifetime. 

Also, the expression of love is constantly changing. From the days of proposing via love letters, a music cassette as a gift cut to a world where acceptance and rejection is a verdict, which is easily swiped left or right with the index finger. In this finding love isn’t easy. 

With options, most are spoilt for choice. 

In this world of quick fixes, long-lasting love seems an impossible investment of precious time and effort, where the fear of being vulnerable with another isn’t a sensible choice for many. 

Without judgement of what is right versus wrong, the truth is exclusivity can be stifling for many people. 

Often couples fall apart if one partner can’t evolve into the relationship with the acceptance of changes in personality and life perspective. Love in such cases, becomes an ordeal. In some relationships, affection just slowly disappears, like water from a flowing tap. It pours away, emptying the self. 

Though it is found that many couples reluctantly continue to stay on in toxic equations because exit isn’t a choice after a couple ties the knot and exchanges vows of matrimony. So, Valentine’s Day remains magical for couples who are not caught in the humdrum of life, yet. 

Can We For Once Celebrate Love, Unhindered And With Hope?

With the options always open on multiple dating apps, many youngsters are no longer willing to overlook the stifling nature of committing themselves to matrimony. Most prefer to be with people, till they don’t feel good about themselves in the equation. There is quiet quitting in relationships when the partner loses interest in the other but doesn’t communicate it in words. They just move away or drift apart. 

According to Geeta (name changed) of Bangalore, she broke up with her partner, as she found it difficult to communicate any issues they faced together. He was unwilling to speak about it. She couldn’t take it any longer and has moved on after two years of an intense relationship. Quoting her; “most men are unwilling to talk or solve emotionally challenging situations. They prefer silence over addressing the problems, like it would vanish on its own”. 

There are many who fall apart after a year or more, as boredom and monotony creep into the relationship. The romance loses its charm and life gets too real, to deal with. 

Some may argue that no love is alike. So judgement on such matters isn’t right. Every love story is different. Many are okay mindlessly celebrating Valentine’s Day knowing very well that after the romantic dinner and niceties, one returns back to the gap that life has managed to dig into their equation, that no fancy dinner or any special day can bridge the differences ever again. 

But one can’t deny that Valentine's Day, once considered a Western holiday, has gained popularity among Indians in recent years. Many young Indians have started to embrace the tradition and celebrate it with enthusiasm. 

So, for one day, in this environment of hate, war and violence, it is a breath of fresh air when love is celebrated unhindered and with hope. 

Mohua Chinappa is an author who runs a podcast called The Mohua Show.

Views expressed are the author's own.