Is Self-Love A Lie? Unpacking The Beauty Industry's Double Message

A Zambian lawyer called Naomie Pilula recently went viral for a selfie she posted on social media. It was not because of her trendy outfit or perfect makeup, but because of her unapologetic response to the harsh criticism she received. Within hours, Pilula's post received thousands of hate comments about her nose, some even saying she "didn’t deserve" to be online. But instead of deleting the post, she stood firm and left the trolls with an eye-opening message.

"I do know that one of the most controversial features that I have, which is what blew up the internet, was my nose. It's my father's nose. Why would I want to remove a feature that identifies me with my father? It doesn't make sense. I know I am not an aesthetically beautiful person, but I love myself."

Pilula's response is a refreshing reminder of confidence in a world that preaches body positivity and self-love but only until it benefits their narrow ideals. Her viral moment inspires us to rethink our own relationship with self-image and to question why certain features are celebrated while others are still criticised.

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The Illusion of "Self-Love"

Hourglass body, chiselled jawline, light-complexion, streamlined nose - these are a narrow, yet socially and morally acceptable, set of physical traits that are often held up as the ideal. 

The beauty industry, with its endless array of new serums, brighteners, and makeup products, seems to be building on this pressure to look nearly perfect as a manufactured idol. Is the true purpose of these products to help us become a better version of ourselves, or are they simply fueling our insecurities?

In an age defined by social media, we are constantly pressured to curate a perfect online image by concealing our real selves. What we wear and where we go are often dictated by what will look best on Instagram, and this obsession with a flawless aesthetic comes at a cost.

The beauty industry has capitalised on our deepest insecurities, promoting a "rat race" of covering up perceived flaws with layers of foundation and highlighting. Products marketed as "self-care" or "body-loving" are often just tools that add unnecessary steps to our routines while generating massive profits for companies that thrive on our anxieties.

This pursuit of perfection takes a serious emotional and psychological toll. The constant pressure to compare ourselves to the filtered and curated lives we see online can lead to significant mental health challenges, including anxiety, low self-esteem, and body dysmorphia.

We are seeing this play out in alarming ways, as even young teenagers are adopting complex makeup routines. At a time when we should be teaching them confidence and resilience, we are instead instilling the belief that their natural and bare skin isn't "good enough."

Redefining Body Positivity

Ironically, the same influencers and celebrities who promote this cycle of perfection also claim to champion body positivity and ‘self-love’. They showcase flawless "glass skin" and "no-makeup makeup" looks, all while using filters and layers of product, creating an unattainable standard.

This isn't true body positivity; in fact, it's a new form of a very old and rigid problem. We are being sold the idea that we must alter ourselves to be accepted, rather than embracing who we are, naturally.

The allure of a 50% sale at Sephora or Nykaa isn't just an ‘off’ for you; it's an addition to buy more products to hide your natural self. Instead of focusing on our outer self and appearance and losing our own personality, we should embrace our own unique identity. We are all born different, so why strive for a singular standard of beauty?

Our worth should be defined by our thoughts, ethics, and revolutionary ideas, not by our looks. Why should we alter what we were born with? If a higher power created us with our own unique identities, who are we to feel unworthy because we don't fit into a socially constructed idea of "beautiful"?

While we are told to love ourselves, the endless stream of "perfection" online sends a conflicting message. The beauty industry isn't just selling products; moreover, it's selling an impossible and impractical dream. The true change is not in buying more products, but in breaking free from these expectations and defining beauty on our own terms and not just being someone of the same ilk. After all, it's you who defines "beautiful".

Views expressed by the author are their own.