In Mumbai, a 54-year-old woman was attacked with acid by her partner who was living with her for the past 25 years. The woman died after being rushed to the hospital with 50 per cent burn injuries.
According to reports, 62-year-old Mahesh Pujari attacked his live-in partner over a dispute between the duo. The duo was in a live-in relationship for the past 25 years. However, they were having disputes in recent times over unknown reasons. Mumbai Police said, “Even the woman was pressurising Mahesh to leave her house, which forced him to reside outside their accommodation.”
The incident happened a fortnight ago in January. Pujari was immediately arrested by LT Marg Police Station and now a murder charge has been imposed on him.
What does the case tell us? That one shouldn’t stay in live-in relationships? Or that one should marry the right person rather than date the wrong person?
These might be the conclusions that many of you might come to after Shraddha Walker’s tragic murder. But the actual lesson we need to learn in both cases is that no matter how long or short a relationship is, it can be toxic if disputes are not resolved on time.
The duo had a 25-year-old relationship which is almost equal to marriage – with no customs or pheras. Staying with a person for 25 years will automatically make us assume that the couple has adjusted to and love each other unconditionally. According to our society, a relationship is successful only if it lasts long. However, the reality differs.
Woman dies after acid attack by partner
Sometimes, no matter how long a relationship is, abuse and toxicity find their way if issues are not addressed. Especially in Indian society, women and men are not brought up with proper lessons about being in a relationship. They simply borrow the dynamics that they witness between the couples around them. As a result, many relationships are unequal. Men assume dominant positions while women behave submissively, often unconsciously.
But when this difference is disturbed, it leads to fights and abuse. Years of internalising the unequal gender dynamics force men to dominate women whose egos are then threatened when women try to rise against them. In this case, also the situation is similar. The man was so disturbed by the shaking gender dynamics that he took the grave step of killing his partner.
I am not saying that men alone abuse women in relationships. Women do too. Last year in May, I reported about a chilling video in which a woman was beating her husband with a bat. Even more disturbing was the sight of the child of the couple shivering with fear in the corner.
So my point is, no matter how the relationship is – married or not- and no matter who the violator is- man or a woman- if issues are not addressed in the relationship, if dynamics are not equal, the relationship will automatically fail. Couples need to understand that if a relationship is unequal, it needs to be recognised and fixed immediately. And if it is not mendable, calling quits should not be taboo.
Rather than ending up with bad consequences, couples should realise issues and try to mend them. Try to make your love for each other greater than social norms. Educate men and women on how to make a relationship equal and allow them the freedom to walk out when they feel helpless and suffocated.
The views expressed are the author’s own.
Suggested Reading: Man Kills Wife, Packs In Suitcase & Burns Her. We Are Still NOT Outraged About Marital Issues?