How many times do we see girls being motivated to nurture their maternal instinct or work on themselves in order to please their husbands? But what if a woman does not exhibit maternal instincts at all What if she doesn’t want to spend even a fraction of her time and energy on pleasing her husband, but do something of her own? Will such a woman ever find happiness in her life? Ofcourse she will, says a research.
According to Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioral science at the London School of Economics, unmarried and childless women are the happiest subgroup in the population. And they are more likely to live longer than their married and child-rearing peers.
SheThePeople.TV spoke to diverse women to know their views on the same.
No need for men to be happy
“The growing dependence of society on women to adhere to standards set by it is now past its expiry date. She is no longer a person who needs a man or a kid to be happy. She has her own goals, career or otherwise, to work towards, and they are more than enough to fill every void in her life. Funnily enough, the same research also says that marriage works better for men who become more “calmed” down post it. Well, we know the laws of energy and the price of a man’s calm is often a woman’s mental health”, says Richa Singh, Founder of Blog Chatter.
Marry for the right reasons
I don’t think you can say unmarried women are the happiest – each woman is an individual. They go into motherhood, childbirth or staying single with different motivations. And remain happy or unhappy in what they choose. – Naomi Dutta.
Marriage and child rearing does take a toll on a woman. She loses earning years – therefore her ability to earn and financial independence gets compromised. Apart, from that, running a family even if you are working becomes your sphere and responsibility and that can take a huge physical toll. Your interests as an individual can get curtailed because you are always working for the larger common good so to say. However, I don’t think you can say unmarried women are the happiest – each woman is an individual. They go into motherhood, childbirth or staying single with different motivations. And remain happy or unhappy in what they choose. Personally, I am all for marriage provided it is for the right reasons. Children – I love them if I don’t have to give birth to them, says media professional Naomi Datta.
Marriage an emotional hook in heart
“I married twice. First when I was 21 and the second time in my mid-thirties and I must say I enjoyed being married. And raising a child, even though it was hard to play house when I was an ambitious journalist. I enjoy the companionship marriage provides, the easy, no pressure rituals of a longstanding relationship and find so much joy in the young woman I have raised. Marriage is more an emotional hook in the heart than anything else. Suddenly, you feel responsible for the man and the child even though neither of the two in my life expects anything from me. But I must confess there are times when I see pics of single women on fabulous holidays, lounging on the beach, relaxing in a spa or hanging out at a bar and I wistfully think, “what if.”, said author Sudha Menon.
I enjoy the companionship marriage provides, the easy, no pressure rituals of a longstanding relationship and find so much joy in the young woman I have raised. – Sudha Menon
Everyone’s journey is different
“I really think that the most important aspect of any relationship is to be fully content. If you find your significant other and can live a blissful life, marriage can be a great journey. On the other hand, if one hasn’t found what one is looking for, he/she should not settle for something less than what they deserve but rather focus on oneself and achieve their goals.”, says Sakshi Talwar of Rugs and Beyond.
Extremist view of happiness
Looking at happiness in such a black and white manner is quite a myopic view of life. I personally see life as myriad shades of grey. Happiness and sorrow are all transient, a result of various phases and circumstances we encounter in our personal journey. – Shonali Advani
Life is unpredictable
Wives with kids, however hard they try, can not avail this magical offer for a lifestyle. I blame a major percentage of this misfortune on the patriarchal balm that has been rubbed on the two things that are again considered to be the best thing to happen for a woman. – Afreen Dastangoi