When officer Tapasya Parihar was growing up, like many women her age she raised a question on blindly following wedding rituals. One of them was kanyadaan. Simply translated it means giving away your daughter in charity to the groom’s family.
When Parihar decided to get married she refused to let the kanyadaan ceremony take place. Parihar insisted she was not a thing that could be given away in charity and refused to have the ritual be performed at her wedding.
Parihar got married in the Joba village of Narshinghpur of Madhya Pradesh to another office, Garvit Gangwar from Indian Foreign Service. The Parihar had long been convincing her parents and her in-laws against kanyadaan and she was successful. Her father did not give her away at her wedding. Her stand has now inspired many girls across the country.
As per a report by Aaj Tak, the groom, Gangwar shared that he was all for his his wife’s decision and agreed with her. The groom went a step ahead to question why a woman had to change everything about herself after she got married.
Why are the rituals not applicable to the groom? And why are rituals more important than rights for a woman?
Gangwar believes that such regressive rituals should be done away with. Tapasya Parihar’s dad also felt thrilled that his son-in-law was progressive and believed in equal rights.
Parihar’s story is an inspiring one which makes us all question once again, why are still following such outdates customs that do not serve women in any way?
Rituals Over Rights
It’s high time we start focussing on women’s rights and not rituals. Indian weddings can fun yet complicated filled with regressive and old rituals and customs, which seek to tie the bride and the groom for the ‘next 7 births’. These rituals begin from many days before the bride and the groom agree to the wedding. Churra ceremony is an example of one. What if a woman is simply doesn’t like wearing bangles? Can she say no to this ceremony? A lot of families believe not wearing these can be inauspicious.
For more on regressive rituals, click here.
Earlier this year, film artist Dia Mirza was in the headlines when she did something similar at her wedding. Mirza had a female priest at her wedding. There are many who are trying to break the tradition of different kinds. For example, another bride wore a pant suit at her wedding while another bride refused to wear red, because it was ‘believed’ as the colour of the bride.
Tapasya Parihar was born to a farmer in Joba village of Madhya Pradesh. She did her schooling from the Kendriya Vidyalaya in her district moved to Pune to complete her law degree. She did preparation for the Indian Administrative Services exam in New Delhi for two and a half years. She scored the 23rd rank in 2018 civil services exams and became an IAS officer.
Here’s wishing IAS Officer Parihar a fab life ahead- as a woman breaking stereotypes!