#aMENd

Let Us Normalise Men Saying These Thirty Things

Introducing feminism among friends
As we are racing towards another decade, we must embrace the changes that time unleashes upon us. Some are good while some are not anticipated. But the changes in the gender dynamic and loosening of the tight rope of tussle between two genders is definitely a change that we all need.

So as 2022 stares at us with new hope, let us move further in our efforts to make gender equality a norm. Let us raise feminist men and women as the future leaders of an equal society. Let us ask men to be a participant in the struggle to achieve feminist goals. In 2021, let us make it normal for men to say these things:

1.Dear women, you have the right to make your own choices.

2. Dear women, you have the right to disagree, opine and resist in marriage

3. Dear women, we respect you for who you are rather than objectifying you against patriarchal standards of beauty

4. Dear women, you can pay the bill because you are capable of earning your happiness

5. Dear sisters, you do not need my protection and permission because you are strong on your own.

6. Dear women, you do not need to scan your surrounding thrice before walking out because we won’t harass, eve-tease, stalk or stare at you.

7. Dear women, you are free to opine without any hesitation in workplaces, public gatherings

8. Dear women, you can take charge of the home financially because you are capable of being the breadwinner as much as we are

9. Dear women, sex is a consensual act. We will never enforce our choices or manipulate yours

10. Dear women, you have equal right to demand orgasm. Feel free to demand pleasure as and when you want

11. Dear women, our high-paid jobs do not give us the right to demand huge dowry. Dowry is wrong whether we earn or not

12. Dear women, your higher salary and qualification doesn’t hurt our ego. It makes us proud

13. Dear daughters, you can pursue sports as your career. Because sports is not a man’s game alone.

14. Dear women, we should cook, clean and manage the house as well as you. Housework is a life skill, not a gender role.

15. Dear women, parenting is teamwork. We should not be reluctant in taking paternity leaves and share parenting responsibilities with you’

16. Dear women, just because you bleed from your vagina every month, it doesn’t make you impure, irrational or weak. It is part of your biology

17. Dear women, your different biology and the proverbial ticking clock do not make you less free than us

18. Dear women, you have an equal choice to wear whatever you want. We won’t judge you or make it unsafe for you to walk around in certain clothes

19. Dear women, you have the freedom to make your financial decisions

20. Dear women, you have the freedom to support and be with your parents even after marriage

21. Dear women, your in-laws/my parents are not always right. You have the right to resist and disagree with your in-laws

22. Dear women, sindoor, mangalsutra or wedding ring are necessary for you if they aren’t for us

23. Dear women, whether you are related to us or not, we respect you and your choices

24. Dear women, you can be better leaders, scientists, teachers and entrepreneurs than us

25. Dear women, managing family fights is not your responsibility alone. We share the house and the family and so its disputes and responsibilities too. 

26. Dear women, if you have to be given away in marriage, so should we.

27. Dear women, if you are expected to embrace your in-laws as your parents, so should we.

28. Makeup is an individual choice not a determinant of gender identity. If women can wear makeup so can men

29. Clothes are gender fluid. There is no defined dress code for men and women. Men can wear skirts while women can pull up trousers

30. Patriarchy oppresses both men and women. So the resistance against it should also be teamwork of both. Because men can be feminists too