Indu Gopal faced domestic violence in her first marriage and while she was quote for too long because of societal expectations and conditioning, she decided to stand up for herself and change the course of her life. She is also the Founder of Project Kintsugi, a community and digital platform for people who are domestic violence, divorce, and mental health issues.
Indu, who gave a second chance to love when she met Vijay, is proud of building her own identity and it’s the mutual respect they hold for each other that keeps their relationship sailing.
Indu Gopal shares her story with us.
Second Chance To Marriage
“I was 23 when I got married in 2012. We were only engaged when he slapped me for the first time; I was too shocked but the wedding preps were halfway through and I didn’t want to be a disappointment, was too scared and ashamed to tell anyone.
After marriage, it continued to be abusive in different ways. Even when I told his family about him beating me, I was told that I must have done something to provoke him and shouldn’t bring it up since he apologised and made up for it by taking me on a vacation.
I was quiet for so long because I thought my family won’t understand. By then I had also convinced myself that it’s normal for these things to happen in a relationship. After 3.5 years, my husband ended the marriage and our divorce got finalised in 2018.
It was devastating; I started therapy, and I tried opening up about what happened in my marriage. The more I spoke about my story, the more people were comfortable opening up to me with theirs. in 2019, I started Project Kintsugi; a support group for women going through a divorce and domestic violence. Once a woman thanked me for saving her from considering suicide, and that’s when I realised the power of Kintsugi.
Through Kintsugi, I worked on myself and did things that brought joy.
There was pressure to get married again from the family but I was open to being single forever rather than settling because of my age or pressure. In 2020, I met the most wonderful man through friends, dated him for a year and got married to him in 2022. From the time we met, he has always introduced me as a person who has her own identity. Even when I shy away from talking about the work I do, he takes so much pride in it & keeps reminding me how much of a difference I am making for so many women out there. a few years back, had someone told me I will be married to someone as loving as Vijay, I wouldn’t have believed them. But today I am living that reality and it has taught me one thing— don’t stay put in a toxic relationship, just because you think you will never find someone better. You will! All you need to do is take the first step.”
Suggested reading: Love And Remarriage: How My Kids Welcoming My Baraat Was Empowering