Inside China's Friendship Marriages: Separate Bedrooms, Shared Finances

A growing number of young Chinese and Japanese are flipping the script by marrying their best friends to escape the traditional marriage expectations. These 'friendship marriages' aren’t about love or attraction, but about companionship, shared values, and personal freedom.

Instead of getting tied down by family pressure, awkward matchmaking, or the pressure to marry romantically, many are opting to make things official with their closest friends. This route offers stability, independence, and a supportive partnership, all without the drama of romantic relationships.

No Weddings, No Kids, No Problem

These couples aren’t even having big weddings or exchanging elaborate gifts. Take Meilan from Chongqing, for instance, who married her best friend four years ago. The two are legally married, live together, and consider each other family, yet they maintain separate rooms and have agreed not to have kids.

"My husband and I are roommates who live together but are also family,” Meilan said.

With each earning over 10,000 yuan per month, they co-invested in a house, shared renovation costs, and continue to split finances, with a joint savings plan for travel. They’ve attracted over 12,000 followers on social media by sharing bits of their daily lives.

One of their fans commented, “I really admire the way you two interact. Two friends whose love life are independent yet mutually supportive.”  Another added, “You are very lucky to have found each other.”

Marriage As A Safety Net

For Chloe, a 33-year-old from Shanghai, a friendship marriage was a way to stay independent and escape social judgment.

“Women my age are all getting married and having kids,” Chloe said. “A friendship marriage helps avoid gossip.”

She tied the knot with her university friend and created a detailed prenup that keeps their finances and family ties separate. The best part about it was the built-in 'divorce trigger' clause that lets either partner walk away if they fall in love with someone else.

“If either of us finds true love one day and wants a traditional marriage, we can divorce,” Chloe explained. They’ve yet to tell their families but are open to adoption someday.

More Freedom And Personal Choice 

Experts say that this trend reflects a bigger shift among young people towards autonomy and personal choice in relationships.

Pan Lian, a family relationship consultant, notes, "Friendship marriages help maintain individual independence. However, these relationships can be unstable. It is not suitable for everyone as an escape from reality.”

She also points out that as there is an improvement in housing and support for single individuals, this trend might even begin to fade.

Still, for now, friendship marriages offer young people a new kind of safety net, one built on mutual respect, freedom, and the simple joy of having someone who understands you.