Not All Inheritance Is Freedom: Women And The Cost Of Tradition

From the earliest days of girlhood, many women are quietly handed an invisible script, an outline of what a "good woman" should be. Be caring. Be obedient. Be responsible. This conditioning often begins not with force but with love, a mother asking her daughter to help in the kitchen, a teacher praising the silent, well-behaved girl, a community applauding self-sacrifice. Over time, these small moments build into something heavy, an internal compass that points not toward one's own desires but toward the comfort and expectations of others. This is not just cultural, it's emotional inheritance. And not all inheritance is a gift.

Tradition, at its best, connects people. It offers a sense of belonging. But when it starts to define a woman more than she defines herself, it quietly becomes a burden. It's in the way she feels guilty for wanting something different. It's in the way she silences her thoughts in a room full of people. It's in the way she puts her own needs aside because tradition says, "that's what good women do."

This doesn't mean all tradition is wrong. But maybe it's time to ask, Can tradition grow with us? Can it make space for women not just to participate, but to choose how and whether they want to?

Traditions That Shape and Silence

In today's world, many women walk a tightrope between two identities: the modern individual pursuing education, careers, and dreams, and the traditional role-bearer expected to hold families together, uphold customs, and keep the home "intact." 

It's not that all traditions are harmful. Some are beautiful; they bring families together, celebrate life, and give people a sense of belonging. However, the problem arises when these traditions begin to dictate who a woman should be, rather than allowing her to discover that for herself.

Many women find themselves torn between who they are and who they're expected to be. Between what they want and what they're told is "right." It's a quiet, personal conflict that often goes unnoticed because on the surface, everything looks normal. She performs, she fulfils, but internally a storm brews.

Tradition Can Evolve

What makes it more difficult is that questioning tradition can be seen as rebellion. When a woman says she doesn't want to follow a certain custom or role, it's often perceived as disrespect, rather than a desire for autonomy. So, she continues, often suppressing her needs for the sake of peace, family, or "what people will say?"

Tradition, if truly meaningful, should not feel like a burden. It should evolve, just like people do. It should include choice. And most importantly, it should respect the person, not just the role she is expected to play.

When a woman says she feels burdened by tradition, she isn't rejecting her culture or values. She is asking for room to breathe. To live as a full human being. To be more than just a caretaker of customs. And maybe that's the most important tradition we should start listening to her.

In many societies, traditions are revered as the threads that weave communities together, preserving cultural identity and continuity.  However, for countless women, these same traditions can become a source of constraint, imposing roles and expectations that limit personal freedom and growth. 

Views expressed by the author are their own.