Sleep Divorce: Can Having Separate Beds Save Your Marriage?

Sleep divorce has become more apparent than ever. A question that beguiles us is whether or not it is the most effective mechanism to work in a marriage.

Paawani Gupta
New Update
twin-bed sleep divorce | istock

(iStock/The Independent)

In recent events, there has been a buzz about 'sleep divorce' and how effective they have been for marriages. Yet one finds it hard to wrap their head around this new concept and is forced to contemplate if marriages should really be open to this new trend. On March 2023, American Academy of Sleep Machine revealed in a report that approximately 35% of Americans sleep in different bedrooms. Even historically, there is evidence of royal couples sleeping in different bedrooms or chambers. 


What is Sleep Divorce?

A couple in the United States has reported to practice 'sleep divorce' and how it has helped their marriage of 16 years. The primary issue faced by the couple was their individual schedule and how hard it was for each of them (husband and wife) to align their schedule with each other. Eliabeth Pearson and Ryan Pearson currently share a six-bedroom, four-bath Mediterranean home in Laguna Niguel, Calif.

But what exactly is a 'sleep divorce'? It simply means that couples would sleep in separate rooms and not spend the night with each other in a shared bedroom. This practice is not new but has been taking place for decades, even the Royal Family of British practices this tradition where the Queen and King have separate bedrooms. This does not necessarily mean that the couple shares a strained relationship but only signifies a healthy distinction of boundaries between them. 

Story of Elizabeth and Ryan

Couple Elizabeth and Ryan had a specific issue where Ryan suffers from restless leg syndrome and is 6 feet 6 inches tall. Elizabeth has reported that he "snores like a chainsaw," and it is quite difficult for her to get any sleep and she gets irritable. They mentioned how simply sleeping in different bedrooms has made their life and relationship healthier and more peaceful than before. 

While this concept has been practised historically, many people see this concept as completely redundant nowadays since marriages have taken a different turn and have become a hub of mutual inputs and ideologies. While others argue that recent marriages also are a shared space of understanding and cooperation making it all the more necessary for couples to ponder upon the necessity of sleep divorce.


 Experts say feeling rested could help you manage life with more focus and control, which in turn can make you feel more content and happier in your relationship.

“When both parties are getting a restorative night’s sleep it allows them to feel emotionally, mentally and physically healthier without one resentful of their partner for keeping them awake, nor the other feeling guilty for disturbing his or her mate,” says Jennifer Adams, the author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart. “That’s a good foundation on which to build and weather a relationship.”

This concept is open for debate and it is imperative for us to know that every marriage and relationship is unique to the couple and people in it thus making it important for us to be free of judgement and subjection. 

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