Creator Couple Atulan And Divesh On What It Means To Live & Love In The Public Eye

It's a love story straight out of a rom-com movie. Two passionate dancers lock eyes during practice, they fall in love, and beat any odds that come their way to build a life together. That's the journey of Atulan Purohit and Divesh Tolani, the charming couple showing India that love does not come in a single colour. Through their social media page, Honey Imm Home, they are documenting their lives as an Indian queer family and creating a more welcoming space for more people like them online.

In an interview with SheThePeople, Atulan and Divesh go beyond labels, recounting the turning points in their individual stories, the ups and downs that shaped their relationship, and their journey of creating an authentic impact on their followers. 

They reflect on the lessons they’ve learned, the growth they’ve experienced together, and the ways their story can inspire others to embrace love and authenticity. Here is an excerpt from the interview.

Atulan and Divesh in conversation with SheThePeople

STP: Please introduce yourselves individually, where you grew up, and what your professional journey has been like?

Atulan: I, Atulan Purohit (he/him), 29 years old, was born in Kolkata and brought up in Delhi, until I moved to Mumbai and started my journey dancing, teaching, and performing professionally in various dance forms for a company.

I am currently a part-time fitness trainer for a New York-based barre fitness company, and also a content creator alongside Divesh, where we make content on our page called Honey Imm Home.

Divesh: I, Divesh Tolani (he/him), 24 years old, was born and brought up in Mumbai. Six years ago, I met Atulan in the same dance company we both were training and performing with. I am currently an in-house marketing executive for an Indian company, and also a content creator.

STP: Can you briefly share about your individual journeys with your gender identity — how did you come to terms with your sexuality, were there any challenges you faced from family/society or within yourselves, and what were your support systems like growing up?

Atulan and Divesh: We didn’t grow up with a blueprint for what queer love should look like. We weren’t shown many healthy, happy queer relationships in movies or in society. So everything we have, we’ve built from scratch.

View this post on Instagram

 From how we communicate, to how we show affection, to how we split chores and plan our future, it’s all been something we’ve worked on with love and time.

There were, of course, challenges. Right from fear of rejection, the burden of hiding parts of ourselves, and the constant pressure to “fit in” with societal expectations.

Coming to family acceptance, it wasn’t immediate, and navigating that space required honesty, difficult conversations, and resilience(lots of it). Society at large still carries stigma, and that means carrying an extra layer of self-protection in everyday interactions.

On top of that, internalised homophobia that was ingrained into us as children from schooling, etc, especially people whom we trusted, is something we yet search and try to work on.

STP: ⁠I know that you guys first met at a dance company and eventually started dating. Can you share how performing has helped you with self-expression and creating a sense of community, both individually and as a couple?

Atulan and Divesh: A lot of our confidence in expressing ourselves came from movement, in this case, during our professional dance training days. We were allowed to move without a label during our training.

But then, when it came to performing for audiences, which was the real deal when it came to financially sustaining oneself as a dancer. 

We were made to do parts that were identified as masculine. For example, men are often expected to lift girls, perform stunts, etc. And women are allowed to go on pointe shoes, move elegantly, etc.

We were told that this is what sells tickets. This is what people want to see. So in one way or another, society has yet to block us from being ourselves.

STP:⁠ ⁠Live-in relationships can feel like an act of rebellion in India. Have you faced any unique challenges because of that, and how do you navigate biases or societal expectations?

Atulan and Divesh: Absolutely. We’ve faced (unnecessary) challenges that most straight couples don’t even have to think about. For something as simple as booking a hotel room together, we’ve gotten used to being given two single beds. The answer of “we’re just friends,” just to avoid awkwardness or refusal, is always on the tip of our tongues. 

In 2023, when we were looking to move in, it was the most difficult challenge life threw at us. We’ve had landlords ask invasive questions or even ghost us after hearing the truth. Us, moving into our own home years later, was a sweet payback to all those landlords for us!

STP: What would you say has been the toughest part about your relationship, and what is the secret to your tight bond?

Atulan and Divesh: It has not been all easy….But we’ve always come out of it together, and now no challenge feels like one. The hope that we have in each other is all the strength we need. Us against the world for real!

View this post on Instagram

STP: ⁠What made you take up content creation?

Atulan and Divesh: It was never a decision. We just started doing it without knowing that it’s even called “content creation”. Apart from dance, we had also discovered that we have a common love for wanderlust, which took our relationship to a new level.

In time, we chose to travel with whatever time we could & thought of documenting this for our friends & family on our common page called Honey Imm Home that we created on the way to our first trip together. With time, we had people tell us how our existence on the internet inspires them, and with that in mind, we made sure to never take it for granted.

To date, that’s one of the big things that has kept us going and motivated us to exist & do better on social media. It was a sense of purpose that came with social media.

STP: ⁠As creators, do you ever feel that your journeys are not just personal but a responsibility to represent a whole, broad community? How do you deal with the pressures of authentic representation?

Atulan and Divesh: The pressure to be perfect on social media is unnecessary. If you’re being real, allowing yourself to make mistakes publicly, and apologising along the way, it’s fine. We take absolutely no pressure to represent the community. Our actions say more about us than a whole community. We’re one family, but if we take wrong steps, ever, then the community’s image should not be affected.

STP: ⁠How do you deal with negative criticism on social media? Being a queer couple living unapologetically in India can be viewed as an act of courage, simply owing to the kind of hatred the community is subjected to daily.

Atulan and Divesh: Naturally, trolls had found a new target: Honey.Imm.Home. Living in a society where acceptance for the LGBTQIA+ community is still growing can be challenging. Naturally, that came with its share of negativity.

At first, we chose to see it as people projecting their own struggles, and we didn’t let it affect us. To us, it was simply part of the engagement that comes with putting yourself out there. However, recently, it's been a bit more flustered.

Waking up to these comments on our screen indirectly affected us and made us feel helpless. Imagine being on a peaceful dinner date and checking the phone, thinking it’s an important notification, only to realise it’s just some angry individual abusing us for being who we are.

So, we’ve been bulk blocking and using Instagram & YouTube features that allow us to automatically block hateful speech and keep our mental health on track. This is something that we’re sometimes strong enough to overcome, and sometimes not, and that’s ok.

STP: ⁠With the attention and responsibility that comes with being public about your relationship, how do you protect your mental health and set boundaries, both with your audience and within yourselves?

Atulan and Divesh: We take our skincare sessions very seriously. Shutting off the apps, speaking to each other about what it made us feel, etc, and just doing some skincare is all we need to start fresh.

STP: If you could go back to your younger selves, what message do you hope to give yourselves about owning your identity, about love, and about hope?

Message: It’s gonna be fine. This journey you’re on has a very happy ending. That hopeless feeling will leave you someday. Your family will accept you. You will find your boy. And you will inspire many like you one day!