If you thought your April couldn’t get any worse than being stuck in your homes indefinitely, with little or no access to booze and with a virus ravaging life and the economy alike, brace yourself, people, there is more! Music composer Tanishk Bagchi, notorious for creating Frankensteins out of good old Bollywood melodies, has remixed Masakali, an exquisite and carefree song about a dove from the film Delhi 6 (2009) and he couldn’t have waited at least for this lockdown to be over, before unleashing this monstrosity on us so that at least we were better prepared.

The video featuring Sidharth Malhotra and Tara Sutaria is not even worth a mention. If you are a fan of the two, you might as well watch this on mute or better still, create a collage of their pictures and use it as a wallpaper.

Even A R Rahman has reacted to this saying:

Delhi 6 remains one of the best albums in the history of Bollywood music. AR Rahman’s music is ably lifted by Prasoon Joshi’s lyrics to give listeners an experience that we rarely get anymore. You have one good song, or two or three in an album, for an entire album to be so breathtakingly melodious is rare these days. The timelessly romantic Rehna Tu and Dil Gira Daftan with its surreal picturisation or be it the soulful Arziyan, or Genda Phool that always reminds me of sun-kissed winter mornings, and the snazzy Dilli-6. Rahman’s Masakali sits like a jewel in the crown of this soundtrack. Some things are not meant to be messed with. This is one of those albums that should have been left alone by the remix brigade in India, and Bagchi just swallowed the jewel, spitting out fire.

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I think it is the lockdown and the dreariness of the coronavirus pandemic that has triggered this outrage against Masakali 2.0. I am not a mean soul. But I am seriously considering filing a petition to have Mr Bagchi’s internet connection cut off, before he can dump some more “songs” 2.0, reloads, mashups and blahs on us. The video featuring Sidharth Malhotra and Tara Sutaria is not even worth a mention. If you are a fan of the two, you might as well watch this on mute or better still, create a collage of their pictures and use it as wallpaper.

You might think I am, being unfair to Bagchi, but honestly, I am just disappointed. For a guy who has composed songs like Bolna (Kapoor & Sons), Sweety Tera Drama, Kamariya Twist (Bareilly Ki Barfi) Manva Likes to Fly (Tumhari Sulu), the guy has potential to create original work. But as you scroll down Bagchi’s works in recent years, all you spot is one lazy remix after another. The Humma song, Tamma Tamma Again, Tu Cheez Badi, Raat Baki, Hawa Hawai, Jawan Hai Mohabbat (yes, he is responsible for that one too), Chalte Chalte, Ankh Marey, and the list goes on. How does one not worry about one’s career graph when remixes overshadow all one’s original works?

Also Read: Bollywood celebrities in quarantine: Cooking to washing utensils

Although, I feel there is a silver lining here. Some remixes are okay, some are so bad that they are good, some are plain bad. And then there are some which make you question all your choices in life and what you are subjecting your ears to. This is the point where trends go into decline and vanish. Himesh Reshammiya, remember him? Perhaps the situation that we are in, or the plain fact that Masakali 2.0 is just horrible will finally jolt our young music composers out of their trance. The easiest way to pull down a trend is to stop paying any heed to it. Perhaps this outrage over Masakali 2.0 will be the much awaited end of the remix era in Bollywood and we will have more original melodies that the future generations can turn into monsters. Hopefully, I may have lost the power of hearing by then, it is in the genes, afterall.

Meanwhile, I’ll just go and sanitise my ears with the original Masakali playing on the loop.

Picture Credit: YouTube screenshot

The views expressed are the author’s own.

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