A few weeks following my eighteenth birthday, my father presented me with some documents to sign for the voter’s ID. Reality sunk in that day – I was legally an adult! That night, I lay gawking at the ceiling thinking about all the essentials of adulting I didn’t know. Was I even ready to deal with the world on my own now?
So, here is a long list of things I have been pondering about:
Independence isn’t a dream fulfilled
An advantage of adulting is that I can do most things I want. But for that, I also need to know what exactly it is that I wish to do. Being told a list of to-do things by my parents was easier. They have my best interest at heart and doing what is told did not require much thought. However, now I need to make a pros and cons list for everything and introspect over it. I have already started overthinking for even the tiniest of things that go wrong. It’s like self-blame Sundays when one hour is dedicated to thinking about the week’s mishaps.
Taxes and banking
Firstly, why am I paying money to the government for earning money? Then came the query of how much and how to pay taxes. Investment, shares and dividends were alien concepts heard only from commerce students. I partly blame the education system and recognised my need for a handbook of ‘Introduction to Banking and Taxes for Newbies’. Every time I dream about the house I’m going to live in, it turns into a nightmare with a sheet of paper labelled ‘Taxes’ laughing at me.
I have wondered what really is the healthy division of income among different areas of expenditure. Going online to find these answers was a big mistake as the words sounded gibberish. How much money should I spend splurging on the long list of books that I need to read? And how many outings should I allow myself in a week once we are on the other side of this pandemic? Thinking about going broke after having an expensive pasta preparation seems bizarre, but in my head full of queries, it’s not a far-fetched idea.
The problems pertaining to jobs are to be mulled over once you have a job. And how exactly do you get a job? I don’t know if my resume is professional enough, and what should and shouldn’t be added to it. Political foul-play, tormenting bosses, and grunt work of an intern were things I wasn’t mentally prepared for. When I started applying for an internship, I was baffled by the number of options. There is great competition in the world for a job and the idea of that race leaves my heart pounding.
If I know that a job or career path is right for me, but my heart’s not in it, what should I do?
Non-linear head and heart
If I know that a job or career path is right for me, but my heart’s not in it, what should I do? This applies to everything where logically I should do one thing but I wanted to do the opposite. So how can I finalise something that decides the next 40 years of my life? When I think about future possibilities of a choice made right now, it usually ends up with a visual of me doing something I absolutely loathe and every morning starting with cusses at my work life.
What if I lose my path or am unable to figure out where to go? It’s questions like these that can keep me up all night long.
Writing my own life
Despite all this confusion, I knew this is from where I have truly started writing my own life. I feel more confident and mature. My new philosophy of life is to prioritise, work hard, and allow myself to not stress too much over things that are going to take time. Adulthood is an enriching experience which shouldn’t be wasted wallowing over problems that have a way of fixing themselves.
So what are your thoughts on adulting?
Bhavya Gupta is an intern with SheThePeople.TV. The views expressed are the author’s own.