‘Bad Beti’: How Does One Get The Label?

traits of a bad girl

I will just go on and say it (what might trigger a few people) that when a girl does anything that’s quite normal for a male-child of the family, she usually gets labelled as the ‘bad beti’. No matter how much we talk of equality, it’s indisputable that somewhere, some woman is being denied basic rights in exchange of the ‘good girl’ trophy.

We, as daughters, guilt trip over choosing our wishes, dreams and desires. Although, that’s what we should go for rather than being a ‘ideal child’ who is conditioned to obey the commands of her parents, relatives and even neighbours.

Here’s what different women have labelled as ‘bad beti’ for:

Walking out of an abusive marriage 

Over the years, we have learnt and taught to be tight-lipped about the concerning issue that is an abusive marriage. Why would a family prefer to let their daughter carry on despite the harassment? Is a unhappy child better than minor inconvenience that the “log kya kahenge?” question might bring along?

The fact that a girl child is often brought up feeding the lie that she is one who needs to “adjust” in all circumstances and that would make her the “perfect” daughter, wife or mother, lays the foundation of the tolerance that we develop for abusive relationships.

Not learning to cook 

Of course! What is a woman without her “superpower”— cooking? Maybe the society just cannot fathom that culinary skills aren’t a package deal that comes with a woman. Much like girls who are taught to excel the art of cooking or even learn the basics early on, men, too, can be prepared since the beginning. And if anyone wants to steer clear of that territory let them be!

Opposing the patriarchal traditions and beliefs

And there goes your sanskaar down the drains. Blindly abiding by the patriarchal norms can keep peace at home but at what cost? It takes even us, women, to identify and unlearn these patriarchal values. Our families might take a little longer and till then we need to keep opposing.

Being single at 35

To be without a man in your life after 30’s raises myriad of questions (from all quarters) and last thing we want is our family or parents to side with those who just won’t accept it. It’s high time we make peace with the honest truth that finding “a suitable boy” isn’t a woman’s only goal in life.

Questioning their parenting

A child can question everything under this sky except her own parents. Besides popular belief that “maa-baap bhagwan ka roop hote hai“, they are human too who make mistakes and take bad decisions. When you express your opinion on or question their parenting it merely clears space for rectification and not turn you a ‘bad beti’.

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