The Pressure To Look 20 Forever Is Exhausting—And I’m Opting Out

I recall walking into a dermatology clinic a few months ago to address my dry skin and hair fall, only to be taken aback by the sheer number of 20-year-olds seeking perfection. The clinic was filled with young faces striving for an unattainable ideal; it seemed like they were outsourcing their self-acceptance to beauty treatments. In contrast, our generation relied on Safi syrup to purify our blood and achieve a healthy glow, just like our mothers and grandmothers before us. We didn't have Instagram, but we dealt with acne, pimples, and blemishes, and we survived.

Fast-forward to today, and the pressure to look perfect has reached unprecedented levels. Social media has amplified this expectation, creating an illusion of flawlessness. Even hashtags like #JustWokeUp, #MorningMood, and #SleepyVibes, which seem relatable and authentic, often present a curated version of reality. These posts can make us feel like we're not measuring up, perpetuating the idea that we need to look picture-perfect even in our most vulnerable moments. The line between reality and curated perfection has become increasingly blurred.

The beauty cult has gone digital, feeding us a constant stream of algorithmically perfected images that promote a one-size-fits-all definition of beauty. We're trapped in a never-ending loop of airbrushed perfection, which is taking a toll on our collective self-esteem. 

The unwritten rule seems to be that as you celebrate your 50th birthday, you're expected to erase a decade's worth of ageing and receive compliments on your youthful appearance. It's as if society's beauty standards dictate that ageing is something to be ashamed of, rather than celebrated.

Ageing Out Loud 

I overheard a group of fit-looking women discussing their diets, including reducing their meals from three to two a day and planning to cut back further. One of them mentioned her goal to drop from a small to an extra-small dress size before her son's graduation ceremony. It was clear they were striving for an increasingly unattainable standard, and I wondered about the pressure they're putting on themselves.

Many of us are chasing eternal youth like it's the holy grail, and the anti-ageing industry is happily selling us the elixir. Content creators are going wild with morning routines and nighttime skincare regimens, pushing everything from pumpkin seeds to obscure potions as must-haves for the perfect life. But ageing is evolution, not a disease. We're all changing, growing, and becoming new versions of ourselves every day. Instead of embracing this natural process, we're trying to freeze time and look like we're 20 again. It's like we're competing in some bizarre game of "Who Can Look the Youngest" – and not "Who is the Wisest or the Sanest."

I'm done with the charade of trying to defy gravity and societal expectations. When someone says, "You don't look your age," it's like they're implying that ageing is something to be ashamed of. I've grown, learned, and evolved, and that's something to be celebrated. I'm embracing the wisdom, experience, and character that comes with age.

As I move forward, I'm reminding myself that it's okay to age. I'm prioritising comfort over conformity, and my heels are taking a backseat while my specs take centre stage. I'm speaking my truth without apology and owning my age with confidence. I'm breaking free from the cycle of self-erasure and celebrating the decade of self-enlightenment. My 40s are not the new 20s; they're a new chapter in my life, and I'm embracing it with dignity. Don't sell me on the "40s is the new 30s" crap.

Views expressed by the author are their own.