Ladies, Be The Change YOU Want To Be…
I always enjoyed being a multitasker. I know and I appreciate so many women out there multitasking and trying to maintain a work-life balance. More power to each one of us! And there are many who have chosen a defined role and have decided to take a career break once the kids are stable. My question here is …Why???
Why do we let our dreams and aspirations take a back seat while we nurture our family? We let our husband move steadily on the career path and ignore all the opportunities we get. We let our children pursue their dreams and aspirations, think beyond and enroll in all experiential activities but what about us?
It is true that nurturing the family is one of the most important priorities. But, above all, there is another nurturing which comes before everything in the world. That is self- love and self-nurturing. And we all know that the life of an Indian mother is not easy.
It is true that nurturing the family is one of the most important priorities. But, above all, there is another nurturing which comes before everything in the world. That is self-love and self-nurturing.
I got married at the age of 21 years when most of my friends were still figuring out their goals after completing graduation. I continued with my college degree and enrolled myself in a Business School post that. This changed me. From a reckless individual with no vision, I had started exploring my interests and had carved out goals for me. But, there was a turning point. I conceived during my third semester and was in a dilemma about how to take things forward. Eventually, I went for an academic break and my son Aarav was born. Things had totally changed for me. There was a sheer transition from an ambitious student to a helpless mother.
A workaholic husband and an unsupportive family were not an encouraging situation at all. I juggled, cried, felt chained and was losing myself every day. Things were almost finished for me. But looking at my beautiful child I decided to make things better. The geographical distance was always a problem with my mother who found it difficult to visit me. The real problem was that she couldn’t leave dad for a long time. Good for them, but not good for my situation. I dropped my son to her place and decided to continue with my fourth semester. It was a new life at B school now. I was pursuing a degree with my juniors now. With support from the faculties members and my new friends, I continued.
The next step was taking up a job in a good company. Luckily, I got one. There was a constant fear of proving myself, juggling between dropping my son to daycare and back forth. Which many of us do, right?
We toil, we cry, we work, we laugh and we do more than what is required. I had just begun trying to prove myself in work that my husband got an intra-company transfer. I really wanted to continue with my work but due to family pressure, had to move along. So now, I resigned, left my due appraisal and moved ahead with my husband and son to another country. The challenges of being an expat mother were different and it taught me a lot in terms of inculcating more perseverance and accepting diversity. The most beautiful gift I got from this place, my daughter Shanaya. We came back when my daughter was four months old and now I was suffering from postpartum depression.
We toil, we cry, we work, we laugh and we do more than what is required. I had just begun trying to prove myself in work that my husband got an intra-company transfer.
I didn’t know what to do and how to take my already burdened life forward. My vision was getting far away every day. I was always fond of writing and began penning down my thoughts to my collection of English poems.
During one of my low days, while I was seeking consultation from my doctor for health problems, he replied, “Chaar din ki zindagi hoti hai, aap itne sad kyon ho? Do what you want to. I don’t know what happened to me at that moment. He was just a doctor, whom I consulted maybe twice, but his words touched me. I promised myself to get my dream accomplished of becoming an author. After rigorous edits, I finally got my script published.
With the first step, you feel so empowered. There were good wishes and appreciation pouring in. During this time, I got the opportunity to get my story published on a US-based Influential mothers community.
I promised myself to get my dream accomplished of becoming an author. After rigorous edits, I finally got my script published.
I was receiving so many messages from close friends, acquaintances, strangers and this increased my confidence. With this, I got another book published.
With two published books, I started getting freelance content writing projects and began my journey of a content writer. Through the book sales proceeds, I decided to fund the education of a girl child in an NGO. When I went there, I was told by one of the volunteers, “Ma’am, aap kabhi padhane aao bachchon ko. Teachers and volunteers ki bohot kami hai.”
The innocent faces of those children touched my heart and I began offering weekend sessions for their school. It was just not easy taking classes there, a travelling husband, two children and no support from the family. As I contributed in the sector, I realised that there are so many vulnerable subjects on which these kids are unaware of. I researched on subjects like menstrual hygiene, child abuse, sexual orientation, adolescence pregnancy, adverse impact of drugs, etc. And started volunteering workshops in varied NGO’s and foundations. They don’t really need your monetary contribution, your time and teaching something meaningful.
I realised that there are so many vulnerable subjects on which these kids are unaware of. I researched on subjects like menstrual hygiene, child abuse, sexual orientation, adolescence pregnancy, adverse impact of drugs, etc.
Now, while I was serving my passion, I got a call from one of my mentors who started his own HR Advisory company. He offered me a part-time opportunity of contributing as an HR consultant and I thought it to be a good option of staying connected with the corporate world.
So now, I am a published author, an HR professional and a social educationist conducting free workshops for NGOs and foundations. AND, not to forget, a mother of two beautiful and hyperactive kids! I earnestly believe that we as women need to be more sensitive towards what we want.
I am learning guitar these days and it boosts my confidence that I can still learn and take up something so new and which I always wanted to learn! I don’t find even a single adult in my guitar class, all teenagers. But I really don’t care as I want to learn something new. It makes me feel empowered.
I don’t find even a single adult in my guitar class, all teenagers. But I really don’t care as I want to learn something new. It makes me feel empowered.
I strongly believe that internal freedom is in our own hands. No matter how many influencers, or supporters or negativity you have in your life. Just say to yourself, I Can Do this. The journey is not that easy but just take the first step. Invest in yourself, take time for yourself, love yourself, appreciate yourself and be there for yourself. So, this is one multitasker saying goodbye to many others. Signing off!
The views expressed are the author’s own.