People are blaming Ariana Grande for the sudden death of Rapper Mac Miller from an apparent drug overdose. The two had dated for two years before breaking up in May this year. His fans are accusing Grande of leaving him lurch, which made him seek comfort in substance abuse. Now Mac Miller had been quite vocal about his struggle with an addiction and he knew he was deep in trouble with substance abuse.

Yet instead of empathising with him for not being able to come over his addiction problems, people are blaming Grande. The 25-year-old has moved on in her life and career, but now that her ex is dead, his fans are portraying her as a quitter who gave up on Mac Miller. But was Grande under any obligation to carry a dead relationship? Is it fair to blame the 25-year-old for not standing by Mac Miller, and choosing her own well being instead? Or does this attack stem from the sexist stigma that a woman is always under gendered obligation to nurture and care for others?

Mac Miller died from his addiction, not because Grande failed to look out for him

This stigma of being the nurturing and supportive one goads many women into staying in unhealthy relationships.

Women fear that their exit may lead to catastrophic consequences for which they will be held responsible. It is not easy to stay put with a partner with problems like addiction. Ariana was with Miller for two long years, which is proof that they tried to make things work. Even Miller must have tried to come out of his substance abuse problems but it didn’t work.

SOME TAKEAWAYS

  • Rapper Mac Miller’s fans are blaming his ex-girlfriend Ariana Grande for his death from an apparent drug overdose.
  • Many women stay in dysfunctional relationships with troubled men, because they feel their exit may lead to catastrophic consequences.
  • But is someone else’s struggle with drug addiction worth putting our own well being in harm’s way?
  • Must women stay in the vicinity of dangerous vices, simply fearing the criticism their exit may invite?

Also, a relationship can fail on many levels. Maybe it wasn’t Miller’s addiction which led to their split. So why do people expect that Grande should have stayed in it, just to keep Miller on the right track? Don’t they know how easy it is to fall in the trapping of vices like drugs? Should a young woman have surrounded herself which such deathly and easily addictive substances and risk her own life? Miller is gone, but Grande is alive. His fans cannot go around blaming her for his demise just because she made it and he didn’t. She walked out when she could, and she isn’t under any obligation to anyone to have to explain her decision.

Women are not nannies or certified therapists who are expected to hold people’s finger and walk them through personal problems and pat their back every time they counter a personal demon.

Women are humans too. We get scared when we watch someone we love fall into the trappings like an addiction. We do try to help them come out of it, but if it is not working, then it is certainly not worth putting our own well being at risk. If a man were to make a choice to quit a relationship which is draining and harming him, would people hold it against him? If no, then why must their views differ with gender?

The differing views are stopping people from having a more relevant conversation. Instead of talking about what pushed Miller over the edge we need to talk about why he was on the edge in the first place? The problem of substance abuse among celebs has always been around, but no one wants to discuss how young men and women, barely into adult life fall in the hands of such vice? Why is the menace of drug abuse so unchecked in Hollywood and music industry? Why doesn’t this cocktail of glamorous life with substance abuse bother us more?

These are the questions we as a society need to ask instead of expecting women to toss their self-worth and happiness down the drain in the name of love.

Also Read : Women’s Inclusion In Politics Needs To Go Beyond Tokenism

Yamini Pustake Bhalerao is a writer with the SheThePeople team, in the Opinions section.  The views expressed are the author’s own.

Picture Credit: BBC

Get the best of SheThePeople delivered to your inbox - subscribe to Our Power Breakfast Newsletter. Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , Facebook and on YouTube, and stay in the know of women who are standing up, speaking out, and leading change.