'Rude, Bossy, Bratty': Why Does Society Villainise Powerful Women?

Being able to confidently and clearly express your thoughts is a sign of assertiveness. It entails making firm decisions, speaking up when necessary, and being straightforward about what you want to say. Aggressiveness, on the other hand, refers to the use of force while maintaining your argument. It entails denying the other person the opportunity to express their thoughts or opinions. The world labels women who are assertive, and confident, and speak their minds as aggressive. However, a man is called assertive when he exhibits the same quality.

According to the gender's history of assigning men to leadership positions, we applaud the man as a leader while the woman looks as though she lost control. This is frequently done to discredit the woman's authority or the argument she is attempting to make. It is a sign of gender discrimination at work. The fact that women find it difficult to advance in their corporate careers can be adequately explained by this double standard.

According to an article in Forbes, successful women have long been viewed as intimidating, cold, ugly, etc. Research indicates that when women act assertively, they are viewed as aggressive. Men are called assertive, which has a positive connotation when they make their presence known in their professional settings. However, women who behave similarly are likely to be labelled as "aggressive."

This is undoubtedly because men still control a large portion of the professional world. As a result, there is still a conscious or unconscious belief in our culture that women who perform tasks that men have traditionally performed are abnormal and act inappropriately. In this article, I talk about the gender biases and patriarchal mindsets that lead to this and how women can protect themselves from being confined by too-aggressive attacks.

The Ingrained Gender Stereotypes That Run Deep 

"Men received a boost in their perceived status after expressing anger," according to a 2008 study that was published in Psychological Science. Contrary to this, "women who expressed anger were consistently viewed as less competent and were given lower status and lower wages." This happens when women try to speak up for themselves. Aggression is defined as a slight increase in volume, which is sufficient to overpower their words.

As a result, women's morale is damaged and they adopt a more passive stance. It has an impact on their confidence and mental health, which frequently diverts them from the subject.

According to gender stereotypes, women should be kind, obedient, and nurturing, while men should be aggressive, competitive, and domineering. When they defy the established stereotypes, they face a phenomenon known as gender backlash. Women who want to advance in the workplace are subject to the "assertiveness penalty."

Men are lauded as ambitious when they bargain for better jobs, pay, or benefits, while women are criticized for doing the same. A significant portion of the things that still need to change in the workplace are these enduringly unfavourable labels. Even though they might not have the same tangible harm as the pay gap, they nevertheless foster a hostile and disrespectful atmosphere toward female employees and supervisors, who are evaluated based on these labels rather than their unique personalities and abilities.

In addition to being unjust, this undermines a positive work environment, which is crucial to the success of the project. When women ask for what they want, many of them get it without any problems. However, this isn't always the case. Many women in leadership roles—whether they are CEOs, managers, leaders, or simply assert their right to ask for what they want in the workplace—continue to be labelled with these derogatory terms. It doesn't appear that the advice that women should simply ask for what they want and they'll get it will work out just yet. I believe that we should recognize the negative biases that still exist before we start spreading that advice.

According to a study by the Centre for Creative Leadership, though women behave similarly to men in similar situations, they are far more frequently referred to as bossy in the workplace. For most of us, these findings simply reflect our own experiences; when men (white men, specifically) express anger, it is typically seen as acceptable, even moral, but when women do the same, their actions are frequently viewed as unstable and unstable. As evidenced by the media's coverage of Serena Williams at the 2018 US Open, this is particularly true for black women. This is what a lot of psychologists call the "backlash against assertiveness."

How can women address this issue?

Women can take specific steps to reclaim their power and avoid being classified as 'aggressive'.

1) Self-awareness

It's important to recognize the value of assertiveness in your work and to avoid it. It is crucial to acknowledge and make use of your ability to be clear, direct, and self-assured when expressing your ideas and opinions. You must be aware of your tone and body language when asserting yourself, though. Steer clear of using body language or words that convey aggression, like pointing fingers or raising your voice.

2) Be succinct, self-assured, and assertive

When speaking, and particularly when voicing their own opinions, many women employ permissions (such as sorry, excuse me, and may I) and modifiers (such as quiet, just, and probably). This is problematic because it can skew others' perceptions of competence by implying insecurity or weakness.

The middle ground? Your message should have a friendly tone but be succinct and direct in its content. Therefore, keep your sign-offs intact but don't be scared to request that the report be placed on your desk Monday morning. Be confident and don't apologize: Being self-assured is crucial when making your presence known. When faced with a challenge, don't back down or apologize. Keep in mind that you have a right to be heard.

3) Develop connections with stakeholders and colleagues in your company

Building trusting relationships with your manager and coworkers is essential. People are less likely to view your assertiveness as hostile or confrontational when they know and trust you. Strive to be a problem-solver and collaborator rather than a combative person. Make an effort to improve your communication abilities so that your assertiveness is seen as positive and focused on finding solutions to issues rather than starting arguments.

4) Create a network of support

To overcome obstacles, seek advice and assistance from coaches, mentors, sponsors, and allies.

5) Make subtle, commanding gestures

It's interesting to note that researchers have also found that women are seen as more capable when they exhibit dominant speech patterns, body language, and facial expressions—but only if they also exhibit other traits that conform to stereotypes of women, like being kind and good listeners. Furthermore, women who "self-regulated" in this way had a 1.5-fold higher chance of getting promoted. What does this mean? Standing tall, striking power poses, and occupying physical space in a room without hesitation. As an alternative, you could try subtly increasing your natural volume levels or speaking without hesitating to make sure your voice is heard.

In professional settings, women who are perceived to talk for longer periods than others were rated as less competent than their male counterparts who spoke for the same amount of time. Conversely, higher levels of perceived competence and professionalism were associated with speech that was clear and succinct. Therefore, if you tend to over-explain, you may want to work on making your sentences shorter, more direct, and free of superfluous words.

We as women don't need to reduce ourselves just to fit into others' expectations. Rather, perhaps it's time to reinterpret the term, create a new definition that denotes confidence, assertiveness, and leadership, and begin bringing up the next generation of "dreadfully bossy" women.