What My First Period Taught Me About Silence, Stigma, And The Power of Change

Growing up in Gaya, a small town in Bihar marked by its vibrant culture yet steeped in tradition, I witnessed a community grappling with deeply ingrained taboos and limited resources. Women and girls often lacked access to basic menstrual health knowledge, and silence around periods perpetuated shame and misinformation. Families here navigated poverty, patriarchal norms, and the absence of reliable infrastructure, leaving women to manage their health in isolation. My childhood was filled with the simple joys of school parades and local festivals. However, one day near the end of 7th grade, I felt like my innocence was shattered as I unexpectedly encountered womanhood through my first period.

That day was passing normally until a friend pulled me aside to tell me that I had stained my white skirt. Embarrassment and panic overwhelmed me as I rushed home, consumed by the fear of judgment and some dreadful illness like blood cancer. When I arrived home, I confided in my grandfather, who calmly advised me to talk to my mother. My mother explained menstruation as a natural process, but her guidance was limited. She handed me a cloth rag from her old sari and explained how to use it but then it made me feel very uncomfortable sitting, cycling and doing my chores. That day marked the beginning of a monthly ordeal that I managed in secrecy, with constant anxiety about potential embarrassment.

My first proper lesson about menstruation happened in 10th-grade biology class, where the teacher’s awkwardness and the boys’ snickering reinforced my sense of shame. It wasn’t until I found a 12th-grade biology book that I began to piece together a deeper understanding of what my body was going through. The discovery of practical solutions, like using a hot water bottle for cramps, gave me a sense of control over my body.

Despite my growing understanding, the stigma around menstruation persisted. Transitioning from adolescence to adulthood, I realized the silence was not just personal but systemic, woven into the fabric of our community. Even as I educated myself, I saw how the shame impacted the lives of countless women around me. Menstruation forced many into isolation and kept young girls away from school, work, and even family rituals.

My Journey of Transforming Menstrual Health in Rural Gaya, Bihar

While working with JPAL in 2011, I saw these barriers reflected on a much larger scale. In Bihar, women’s unawareness about menstrual health was staggering. Many didn’t bathe during menstruation, reused unhygienic rags, and some even resorted to using sand and ashes. Witnessing these harsh realities was heartbreaking and deeply personal. That moment became my turning point. Menstrual health was not just my battle; it was a societal challenge I was determined to address.

In 2019, I became one of the co-founders of SumArth and led the project of sustainable menstrual health and hygiene, which I had always dreamt of pursuing in my life. I was determined to act and challenge the taboos surrounding menstrual health. As one of the co-founders, I am committed to advancing menstrual equity in predominantly lower socio-economic communities.

While working in the fields, I observed that many women farmers were missing work during their periods—not by choice, but due to the challenges of managing menstruation. Their struggles went beyond physical discomfort; they spoke to a profound loss of dignity and self-worth. This realisation drove me to focus on menstrual health for underprivileged women in Gaya’s naxal-affected areas, where education and resources are scarce.

My journey has been fraught with challenges, from taboos in my own home to resistance in my community. Women left workshops saying “Didi gandi gandi baat krti hain”, mothers pulled daughters away, and silence often prevailed. Yet, small wins—girls asking questions, women finding dignity—kept me going, proving that change, though slow, was possible.

Women have embraced hygiene practices, switched to sanitary pads, and started breaking taboos like avoiding certain foods during menstruation. Today, they eat pickles freely and discuss menstruation openly, shedding the shame and silence of the past.

Our impact has gone beyond just awareness; it has led to profound behavioural changes among rural women and girls. Women who once refrained from bathing during menstruation due to myths and taboos are now maintaining hygiene, understanding its importance, and refusing to be ashamed. Many have successfully transitioned from using cloth rags, sand, and other unhygienic materials to sanitary pads and menstrual cups. Young school girls who previously thought 'periods' only referred to their school classes are now well-informed about menstrual cycles and the importance of hygiene.

One of the most heart-wrenching realities I encountered was that many women were forced into sexual activity during menstruation. As a means of avoidance, they would refrain from bathing, hoping to deter their husbands. Through continuous training and engagement, these women have gained the confidence to assert their rights, deny sex during their menstrual cycle, and prioritise their own health and dignity. Now, they bathe during periods without fear and take control of their bodies.

Perhaps one of the most tragic consequences of unhygienic menstrual practices has been the high rate of hysterectomies among women, where infections and complications have led to unnecessary surgical procedures. Many of these women, after attending our sessions, have become advocates for change, urging their daughters and close relatives to embrace proper menstrual hygiene and avoid suffering the same fate.

Young girls who are about to experience their first period are now prepared to welcome it without fear. They have the knowledge and resources to manage their menstrual health confidently. Some of our most extraordinary rural women beneficiaries have taken a bold step towards sustainability by adopting menstrual cups after rigorous sessions and visits. These women are leading by example, proving that positive change is possible even in the most conservative communities.

We reached a pivotal achievement by establishing a fully automatic sanitary pad-making machine that is operated by underprivileged rural women. This initiative not only provides affordable sanitary products but also empowers women with jobs and control over their health, transforming how menstruation is managed and discussed.

Our approach extends beyond product distribution. Our comprehensive educational programs cover menstrual biology, good hygiene practices, myths, taboos and practical management while offering reusable pads and menstrual cups. Interactive sessions encourage questions and shared experiences. This ripple effect touches families, communities, and future generations, enabling women to pursue education, work, and personal goals with dignity and confidence.

Through intensive awareness sessions, hands-on demonstrations, and peer-led discussions, we address myths and fears surrounding menstrual cups—especially around insertion, virginity, and hygiene.

So far, over 500 women have confidently adopted menstrual cups, many after initial hesitation. Rural women now proudly speak of how they no longer suffer from rashes, infections, or discomfort during long working hours.

Some of the feedback we’ve received includes:

·      “Pehle lagta tha ki ye sheher ki mahilaon ke liye hai, lekin ab lagta hai ki yeh hum sab ke liye zaroori hai.”

·      “Cup lagake kheton mein kaam karna asaan ho gaya hai, poore din ka tension khatam.”

·      “Mujhe laga kabhi use nahi kar paungi, lekin ab main doosri mahilaon ko bhi sikhati hoon.”

·      “Ab na dard hota hai, na dar. Pehle baar laga ki periods ke upar mera control hai.”

These women have become ambassadors of change, helping others transition with confidence. Even adolescent girls are now considering menstrual cups as a future option, feeling informed and fearless.

By combining education, access, and continuous support, we’re not just distributing menstrual cups—we are fostering swabhimaan, swasthya, aur swatantrata.

Through this work, I’ve healed from the shame of my first period and transformed into a leader in menstrual health advocacy. As a mother, I’m proud to empower my daughter with knowledge and confidence to continue to foster a fearless and informed generation.

Let’s work together to break the silence surrounding menstrual health. Whether through education, advocacy, or simply through conversation, each step we take helps dismantle stigma and empower women and girls to manage their periods with dignity.

Views expressed by the author are their own.