The Promise Of Duality: I Refuse To Live Half A Life

I have been a part of a culture so diverse and so dissimilar since childhood that my idea of what is ideal was questioned long before I learned to define it. Born to a North Indian mother and a Bengali father, I grew up at the intersection of two distinct temperaments, two value systems, and two ways of seeing life. What appeared poetic in theory often translated into confusion in practice.

The tug-of-war between identities silently consumed time, strained my mental health, and left me negotiating spaces that demanded I choose one side over the other.

On one hand, I witnessed a culture that valued prudence, structure, financial security, and visible success. Practicality was celebrated, foresight applauded, and ambition encouraged without apology.

On the other, I was nurtured by a worldview that romanticized simplicity, emotional depth, intellectual indulgence, and the quiet dignity of living lightly. One spoke the language of numbers and outcomes; the other conversed in emotions, art, and philosophical reflection.

The pressure to "fit in"

Growing up, I was repeatedly made to feel that embracing one meant betraying the other.

This internal conflict slowly shaped an unspoken belief—that I was somehow incomplete unless I fit neatly into one mold. I tried. I tried being the efficient, sharp, goal-oriented individual who measured worth through productivity and material gain.

I also tried being the dreamy soul who believed that contentment lay in simplicity, creative freedom, and inner richness. But each attempt at singularity felt like a denial of a part of myself. I was exhausted by the constant pressure to edit my identity for social approval.

A promise to myself

With time, introspection, and a fair share of emotional bruises, I made a promise to myself—a quiet but powerful one.

I promised to break the barriers of unrealistic standards and inherited rigidity. I promised that I would no longer allow anyone—family, companions, or society—to dictate that I must be only one thing. I refused the narrative that identity must be singular, fixed, and easily labeled.

I realized that duality is not a flaw; it is a strength.

I can be financially aware and emotionally rich. I can respect ambition without abandoning compassion. I can pursue growth without sacrificing peace. I do not have to choose between being grounded and being imaginative. 

I can be both, and more importantly, I can be selective. I can draw from practicality when decisions demand clarity and foresight, and I can lean into idealism when life calls for faith, art, and human connection.

Today, I no longer seek validation for my contradictions. I see them as harmonies. I am the sum of my cultures, not their battleground. By embracing the best of both worlds, I am not diluting my identity—I am finally honoring it.

Article submitted by Vaishali Nag (guest writer) | Views expressed by the author are their own.