She Just Gave Birth. What She Needs Is Support, Not Suggestions

Motherhood is often glorified as the most beautiful phase in a woman's life. What rarely finds voice, however, is the turbulence beneath the surface—the trauma, the sleepless nights, the unsolicited advice, and the aching loneliness in a crowd of well-wishers. It begins not with the baby’s cry but with two pink lines on a stick—marking the beginning of a physical, emotional, and mental transformation.

Pregnancy is often described in joyful terms, but behind the glow and baby showers is a woman navigating an ocean of hormonal storms, body changes, and emotional upheaval. Nausea, extreme fatigue, migraines, swelling, and back pain become daily companions. Every day, the body changes a little more, while the mind silently bears the weight of responsibility for another life. And yet, societal expectations demand that she should smile through it all—because “pregnancy is a blessing.”

Unspoken Emotions of Motherhood and the Journey to Birth

What many don't speak about is the trauma of constant judgment. A mother-to-be is frequently swarmed with unsolicited advice—“Don’t eat that,” “Sleep on your left,” “Normal delivery is better,” “Don’t gain too much weight,”— words that may come from love, but carry the power to instill doubt, guilt, and anxiety. For a woman whose hormones are already working overtime, these voices can drown out her own instincts and confidence.

Then comes labour—a word that barely captures the physical and emotional wreckage of the process. The contractions, often likened to bones breaking from within, grow closer and stronger. There is pain, there is fear, and there is a loss of control. Screams are common, but some mothers feel too ashamed to express themselves, fearing they might be “too loud” or “too dramatic.” Post-delivery, the emotional storm doesn’t calm—it only changes shape. The joy of holding the newborn is immense, but so is the guilt of feeling exhausted. The pressure to breastfeed, the physical recovery from episiotomy or C-section, the hormone crash, the sleepless nights—each moment chips away at her strength. Yet the world expects her to stay grateful.

It’s not uncommon for mothers to experience postpartum depression. According to the World Health Organisation, about 1 in 7 women experience mental health issues during pregnancy and postpartum. And still, many suffer in silence, feeling ashamed to say, “I don’t feel okay.”

“New mothers often come to us exhausted, overwhelmed, and sometimes even scared of their own babies,” says Dr. Kushal Agrawal, HOD, Department of Neonatology and Paediatrics, KVR Hospital, Kashipur, “We tell families that supporting a new mother emotionally is as important as caring for the newborn. A confident and mentally healthy mother is the best caregiver a baby can have.  A new mother goes through a myriad of emotions, she is suddenly thrust into a very responsible position. And because of her zeal to be the best for her baby she is constantly in a state of confusion, panic and insecurity. She has been given a responsibility for which she has not been given any training, and is expected to deliver the best for her newborn baby. So imagine her situation, and on top of that all guidelines and experts like me tell her to be in a state of mental bliss to enjoy this time to bond with her newborn”. 

Unfortunately, instead of emotional support, mothers are too often met with constant suggestions—from relatives, neighbours, and even strangers. “You should cover the baby more,” “Why isn’t the baby gaining weight?”, “You should not eat this/ should not eat that”, or the classic “In our times, we didn’t need so much rest.” Each statement, however well-meant, cuts deeper, adding to her self-doubt.

There are moments of unfiltered joy, yes—the first flutter of the baby inside, the first heartbeat on the scan, and the first time she holds the baby to her chest. But these beautiful moments should not erase the suffering that came before and the struggle that follows.

Motherhood is not only about the soft lullabies and cuddles—it is also about the silent weeping into pillows, the anxiety of not being enough, and the quiet strength it takes to show up, every day, for someone who cannot even say “thank you” yet.

To all mothers, past, present, and future—you are more than enough. And to families and friends—listen more, advise less. A mother doesn’t need instructions. She needs to be seen, heard, and held. After all, while everyone celebrates the birth of a baby, someone just went through rebirth herself.

Authored by Lakshika Verma, Strategic Communications Advisor and a Public Relations Consultant. Views expressed by the author are their own.