I Stopped Comparing My Twenty-something Life; It Changed Everything

"Your time is running out as you live by your current position, so please don't waste it." How many times have we heard this from those around us? In our twenties, life seems like an endless marathon, a race of competence, and a never-ending desire to be well-organized, polished, and put together. I frequently find myself lost in my thoughts, wondering what I should do next and how to be more deliberate and purposeful each day as I work to discover who I am and reach my greatest potential.

Managing comparison, envy, and FOMO while in our 20s

Through the crevices of the scintillating quest of life,

One often finds themselves in the confounding conundrums of what defines their stride of being alive,

Riding through the wave, lapsing in the mirth of what we want to be,

I hope we find the courage to have faith in our paths,

As we navigate through our 20’s 

When everything appears to be going well, the silent footsteps of imposter syndrome creep in their precipice only to magnify their essence in one's being. It is frequently a bumpy road, full of resentment, anger, angst, and most importantly, a looming sense of self-doubt and rumination.

How I wish our twenties came with a personalized instruction manual on how to find happiness, success, tranquillity, and purpose! If those in their defining decade claimed they had never felt the need to escape our overwhelming realities occasionally, they would be lying. Navigating life in my 20s is frightening in its brevity, akin to a newborn learning to walk. 

In our early adulthood, we frequently make mistakes with our words, suffer the repercussions of our actions, fall deeply into the traps of perfectionism and procrastination, and trip over the delusion of comparison and FOMO. There is a constant need to be everywhere, to travel everywhere, to have photos that capture the latest, most popular trend, and to have mass-market-appealing couture and, above all, to have a beautiful, faultless social media feed that painstakingly crafts lies from the nakedness of our truth so that not even we can tell the difference.

Walking down the lane of our 20s is like living in a state of perpetual paranoia about being left out, by the group of friends, behind the standardized set of career progression, lacking the ideal partner, or not having the most swoon-worthy and alluring lives arranged for admiration. If I denied that I ever wanted all this at some time, I would be dishonest. 

Finding ourselves: A search of self-exploration and seeking our real selves

But as I went on living, I reflected on the recurring and basic question: "Is chasing all of this in our twenties a choice we make for ourselves or is it a reality and a feeling of conditioning that society imposes and normalizes on us?" After graduating from college, our twenties are a crucial time in our lives when we feel lost. We suddenly lack identity and struggle to hold onto something stable, such as a job. Your first job after college may not be with the company you identify with for a variety of reasons, but it will still be an exciting journey.

The possibility that you may not be in the same stage of life as your parents when they were your age will worry you. Or maybe you'll see your friends starting new jobs, getting promoted, and generally appearing to be doing very well in life. You'll be doing yourself a great favour if you ignore it all. Understand that everyone has a post-college schedule. You see, throughout high school and college, we've all been on the same page, at the same level, and moving at the same pace. 

While reaching milestones and professional marvels in our twenties is fantastic, the reality is that one can only truly be happy if the motivation behind achieving success or wealth comes from within, rather than from a phoney sense of self. Even if you have your ideal job, your ideal body, your ideal apartment, your ideal car, and a perfect partner, you will still be hungry for more and never be thankful for everything that has been given to you.

Asking these questions and challenging our core beliefs is crucial for those of us in our twenties.

• What brings me joy?
• What gives me a sense of direction?
• What are my life's fundamental principles?
• What gives me the most motivation?
• How do I see myself at my best?
• What constitutes success in my mind?
• Does my present way of living benefit me the most?
• Aside from my accomplishments, profession, finances, and relationships, what else defines me as an individual?
• Which parts of me still need to heal?
• Which things have affected me the most? What achievement am I proudest of?

Long story short, I've discovered something amazing: I'm now able to set my own goals and see how I achieve them, and that will indicate to me just how successful this year of mine has been. This isn't new; I think we've had a variety of great posters on the web that have slogans such as, "Compare yourself to your old self and not other people." But now and then you may forget that, so let me remind you of it again. I used to hate myself for it and spent the majority of my teenage years quietly comparing myself to the rest of my high-achieving peers.

The most successful individuals never quit, even if their twenties prove to be tough. This is where our power of saving money will be put to the test. This is the first time we will have earned thousands of dollars, and we will be tempted to spend it all on eating, shopping, and nightlife rather than on paying for college.

Don't! If we can save that much money and acquire that discipline at this point, we will set ourselves on the path of becoming financially independent at a young age. The good sum of money you have saved can now be spent! Here's to our twenties, which are the toughest but the most enjoyable years of our lives!

This article was written by Hridya Sharma. Views expressed by the author are their own.