Watching kissing scenes with kids puts many parents in dilemma. They aren’t sure whether they should let their kids watch such scenes or discuss intimacy or not. Even if they should, what is the right way to do so?
How can parents have sex talk with kids without letting their minds get ‘spoiled’ by the wrong content? In fact, where does one draw a line between good and bad intimate content? I have been thinking about this topic for a while and ultimately reached a conclusion. Before disclosing that, let us discuss more on the relationship between kids and parents when it comes to intimacy.
“Why not,” says Vandana Prasad, a homemaker and mother of two sons. “Stopping children from doing or watching anything will increase their curiosity in a negative way. “Why are my parents not letting me watch such scenes? Is there something bad in it?” Questions like these arise in kids’ minds when we don’t let them watch intimate scenes. If parents don’t discuss about such scenes with kids, they will learn it the wrong way.”
While Deepshika Chakravarti, Executive Editor at SheThePeople, says that even though she doesn’t watch intimate scenes around her kid, she doesn’t stop him from being exposed to such content. “In today's world, it is very difficult to even monitor what all your kids are exposed to…if he is exposed to it I will speak to him to explain. Kissing is also an expression of love I don't want him to think it is a taboo thing.”
Why Do We Refrain Kids From Watching Kissing Scenes Onscreen?
Many parents don’t allow their kids to watch intimate scenes onscreen. They instantly change the channel or ask their kids to close their eyes. Some parents judge the character and choices if they ‘catch’ them watching intimate scenes onscreen. In fact, censor boards too censor the sexual content in movies stating that they are culturally immoral. But the question is are intimate scenes really culturally immoral? Should kids be kept unaware of intimacy? If parents don’t allow kids to watch intimate scenes in front of them, would kids not be exposed to such content on social media which is now accessible to people of every age? If kids don’t watch such scenes with supervision, will they ever understand the meaning of intimacy in the right way? And what could be the consequences of hiding intimacy and its importance in life from kids?
Undoubtedly intimacy is a crucial part of life. Every relationship is based on certain forms of intimacy. Hugs and kisses are common in almost every relationship be it between partners, siblings or parents and children. But when it comes to intimacy between partners, it becomes difficult to explain it to kids. We have been raised with the conception that such intimacy is something that should be hidden from the world. A kind of taboo that should not be discussed out in the open.
However, we forget that romantic intimacy cannot remain hidden. Today or tomorrow, everyone is attracted to a certain person. So it is better that people are told about intimacy in the right way beforehand so that their feelings do not find the wrong outlet. For example, if kids are not told about sex, they will understand it as something bad that they should refrain from. They would live at least half of their lives in a conflict that they feel urges that are morally incorrect. And consequently, they would find objectionable passages for their feelings like indulging in sex secretively, non-consensually and with the wrong person. Moreover, not teaching kids about &t=59s">sex in a proper way will further encourage the hazy understanding of consent.
But if kids are taught about kissing or sex as a part of love or attachment between two consenting adults, they won’t face a moral conflict. They will understand that intimacy is a healthy expression of emotions that are based on consent. Safe touch and contraception can also be taught to kids by discussing intimacy as a consensual bond. Kids will also understand the value of love as a medium of bonding between humans and not as a shameful emotion that needs to be hidden from the world.
As it is said, kids do exactly what they are asked not to do. The more kids are refrained from watching intimate scenes, the more they will want to watch them. If kids watch such scenes without supervision, there are more chances of them interpreting it as a taboo that should be practised secretly. And secrecy has never led to good results.
So there is no problem in letting kids watch kissing scenes or intimate scenes onscreen. The only thing we need to remember is that such scenes should be watched by kids under the supervision of parents who must discuss and respond to the questions that kids ask about such scenes.
Views expressed are the author's own.