Annabelle 2 or the last time you were ghosted: Which is less scary?
Dating applications the new hangout spots of the town and swiping right or left are not the only two directions things can go in. There are a multitude of permutations and combinations of possibilities and just like mathematical lingo sounds complex, oh boy dating is complex. And worse, there is no formula to integrate you with your match. You feel like the day demonetisation occurred, only it seems like you had all the old notes in the country.
1. What is Ghosting?
Ghosting is the most painful disease on the planet which is not recognised by WHO. It is a transferable disease and if you catch it, there is no anaesthesia which can reduce the misery and pain caused by unreasonable rejection by someone you like or just went out with.
Often people we really like or are interested in, stop seeing us, stop answering our texts, do not return to our calls and abandon us. Sometimes they weasel out of the connection by softly distancing themselves until they are no more a part of the picture.
2.Collateral Damages of Ghosting
Whether classic ghosting or indirect ghosting, your heart feels like freshly bombed Hiroshima Nagasaki and sure, it is truly one of the worst feelings to feel because it comes without any warning. Losing hope in such times is easy, but remember the Scam 1992 dialogue-“Ishq hai toh risk hai”. It can go both ways and it’s not your fault at all.
3.How to deal with Ghosting?
It can be dealt with in a completely mature way. We can be adults about it and even if we can’t make lemonades out of this lemon, it’s okay.
1.Talking to a friend about it
Take a packet of tissues and tell your bestfriend everything in detail. Most of the time, talking about it makes you feel lighter and helps you get over it faster.
2.Taking a break off dating applications
It can feel unexpectedly disturbing after being ghosted and you might want to call the quits on romance and focus on yourself for sometime.
3.Arguing in the shower
Let them know how much their actions affected you, only in your shower. Take the empty shampoo bottle and like MC Sher said “Apne andar ka lava fatt ke bahar aane de.”
4.Taking it impersonally
Understand that whatever they did, has nothing to do with you. Most of the time, people are so inherently fighting their internal problems that their reaction is not based on you at all.
Saying this is easy but doing it takes so much more, we know. But hey, carrying passive aggressiveness along your shoulders is just not the way. Letting it go gradually is the only way we deal with things outside our control.
4.But what if you want to Ghost?
On the other hand, if you are the person who wishes to ghost/end the connection because of any inevitable reason, here are some ways you can do so to minimise the emotional damage to the person in front of you:
1.Let them know:
Trust us, this will mean a whole lot to them and make you feel less guilty too, in case you had an investment or intention in the relationship. Backing out of an arrangement is not the problem, the way you do it makes the difference.
2.Apologising is not compulsory:
Not feeling the same for someone is not a cold-blooded murder and there is no reason to feel apologetic about your feelings. If you are polite, you are doing it right.
3.Do it at the earliest:
If you think that you are not invested in someone, the way they are – be open about your emotions and let them know. This will help you cope with your problems more freely and prevent them unnecessary heartbreak.