I told my mom…I’m a woman, not a man: Meera’s Journey
For a lot of people in our society gender simply means male or female. There are a lot of stereotypes and norms related to the type of clothes, set of emotions, professions, behaviour etc., that each gender is expected to follow. Consequently, gender is allotted to everyone the moment they are born. But what happens when someone does not associate with the sex they are born to? When you have to deal with your own confusion regarding sexuality and gender, thanks to the stereotypical upbringing that is common in our society, and the pressure to fit in from those around you too?
At the end of it the kind of human being you are, what you do, what you contribute to the world is more important than any other thing.
21-year-old Meera Singhania Rehani, pursuing B.A. (Hons) Sociology, shares with SheThePeople.TV her journey of becoming a Binary Trans woman from Saatvik.
The Turing Point
According to Meera, the major turning point in her life was when she shifted to Delhi because she could never really open up to her parents or anyone back at home. While studying at Ambedkar University she got exposure to a liberal environment- from participation in weekly queer collective and LGBTQ protests her awareness about self flourished. “Realization was a process,” she observes. And then on May 17, 2019, she called her mom and told her, “I am definitely a woman. I am not a man.”
From Saatvik to Meera
Everyone by default is a part of that structure. Everyone who exists belongs to that structure,” she says, adding that a child becomes the way he or she is moulded.
Meera says that Gender Studies had a lot to do with her identity. The first major step that she took was legally transitioning herself. She talks about undergoing surgery, which is both financially and mentally exhausting, to get a sense of consistency in her life. Finally, after becoming Meera she longs for a healthy lifestyle with a house of her own, financial security, and love.
We are a Family, Right?
Meera says the her father, who is an alcoholic, once called her a ‘chakka’. But she does not blame her parents for the transphobic structure that surrounds them. She mentions that her sister has been a pillar of support to her. “Everyone by default is a part of that structure. Everyone who exists belongs to that structure,” she says, adding that a child becomes the way he or she is moulded.
Gender Identities in a Trans-phobic Structure
As per Meera, we all live in a transphobic society. “Being a trans person I say that. I have been very transphobic myself. Transphobic enough to not identify myself as trans,” says Meera, adding, “We have all been conditioned to see human beings in a particular way. See a man a way. See a woman a way. There is one stereotypical homogeneous way of looking at a human being because of a certain set of attributes, gender roles, and gender identities.” Meera opines that we need to unlearn the structure to yield an easier life for anyone who struggles with gender identity.
According to her, “At the end of it the kind of human being you are, what you do, what you contribute to the world is more important than any other thing.”
Simran Dhawan is an intern with SheThePeople.TV