Five Things I Definitely Don’t Want My Boyfriend To Do
A few months ago, my Instagram explore was flooded with posts about what girls like most in a guy and vice versa. After spending a few minutes scrolling through all such posts I began to wonder, was it just me, or folks writing these posts had a very general idea of what a girl (or a guy) wants. In fact, I have realised that it is not just social media, but ‘what a girl wants’ in her boyfriend has been subjective to stereotypes in pop-culture at large. So to make things less complicated, here are five things that I don’t expect my boyfriend to do, and am sure many girls will relate.
Send good-morning/night and ‘I love you’ texts:
Ummm, no thanks. I am already fed up with good morning messages on my family WhatsApp group, why would I want my boyfriend to add to that agony? Such texts are a source of mild stress for me. Most likely I will forget to respond to it being groggy and sleepy right before and after I wake up. So no, I do not expect my boyfriend to wish me good night/morning diligently.
Get me flowers and gifts:
I’m not a fan of gifts, be it on any occasion or surprises. Being a food fanatic, I prefer chocolates and pizzas as gifts. I do not understand the concept of gifting someone flower bouquets either. It’s a waste of money on something that’s going to rot in a week. I’m a nature lover, one who appreciates things in their natural environment.
Reading between the lines:
Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not necessary that girls mean the opposite of what they say. When I tell someone that everything is fine, it either means all is good or I don’t want to tell them. No way does that translate to ‘please pester me until I tell you something out of frustration’. Similarly, when I ask for an opinion, I don’t want flattery. You can tell me if the colour of my dress doesn’t suit me.
Contrary to popular opinion, it’s not necessary that girls mean the opposite of what they say.
Be willing to take ‘cute’ pictures:
On a special occasion or once in a month I’m all for at getting pictures clicked. However, I don’t want to roam around with the phone and selfie stick floating over my head. I have never been comfortable with posting couple pictures, as I don’t want a public relationship. I believe in living the moment more than capturing it in my gallery. Also, thinking about different poses every time is nerve-wracking.
Cuddle and watch Netflix:
Romance and drama aren’t my go-to genres for movies and shows. I prefer suspense and thriller movies even on a date. Cuddling is something that feels like an invasion of privacy to me. I like my own space. Spreading my legs and keeping the snacks next to me is how I like to binge-watch Netflix.
I do not agree with most of the stereotypes, and they have failed to describe my perfect future boyfriend.
It’s not just the personality of a girl, but also that of a guy that has been brought down to a list of ten things. It has reduced the essence of discovering things about your partner into a predictable notion of what is liked most. Restricting to just two genders also highlights the importance of talking about the broader spectrum, when it comes to love and dating. I believe that if it all there need to be lists that cater to everyone, they should have these two things- respect and honesty. The rest we can figure out as we go.
Bhavya Gupta is an intern with SheThePeople.TV. The views expressed are the author’s own.