Dear Society, Why Is Log Kya Kahenge Always A Girl’s Headache?
We all are familiar with this phrase in indian society. To fit in this society, to not face judgement, we always wonder about “log kya kahenge”. And it’s not just your face, your manners, your conversations – every single thing is judge. And baat baat par, this phrase is thrown at us.
Dark circles? Hairy legs? Pimples? Too skinny? Fat? Uneven eyebrows. These are never thought of as individualistic characteristics but those that society measures you up against. A hot woman is only one who waxes smooth, gets eyebrows done, puts on mascara and walks down wearing high heels. Firstly, all women are hot. In their own way. Second, we shouldn’t judge those who want to do this and those who choose not to do this. Importantly, do this for yourself not for society’s validation. My mom once said me- ” once you start feeling that you are beautiful, then you are beautiful “. But society? “Lok kya kahenge?”
It doesn’t stop with your looks, it is also about your clothes.
Our Clothes 🙄
Modern clothes, short skirts, shorts. We are sinners for wearing these in the eyes of most in society and definitely in the eyes of a narrow minded family. “Dress properly”, we are told as if ‘properly’ is an ensemble we can pick from the almirah.
Why can’t we have family conversations rather than parents, family taunting their kids? Judgement begins at home. And that instills doubt in us of how worthy or worthless we are. “Jab soch mein hi problem hain to kapdo p blame mat daalo.”
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Periods. Society. Awkwardness.
Menstrual cycles. Yes they are normal, biological and important. Let’s break the stereotypes and stigmas about them. Instead, our society’s awkwardness with it, is just making it difficult for women to normalise them. In college, abhi bhi, so many girls and boys will say “hawww” when they see a red spot on a girl’s dress. They will embarrass the woman so much she will miss her classes to go change or figure out some chalk powder to wipe that off. What’s with us?
Dear society, normalise the period. Normalise conversations on menstrual and make men a part of it. We don’t need ‘log kya kahenge’ to shame women.
Mental health, suicide.
Just yesterday I was listening to a conversation on mental health and one girl talked about how she hid her therapy sessions from her family. Why? We should not talk about them because people facing mental illness, according to our society, are “dangerous and those dealing with suicides are either attention seekers or cowards”? Log kya kahenge?
We should talk about it openly and spread awareness. They are not abnormal. They are not insane. Let’s talk, share and spread awareness so that a lot of deaths by suicide can be prevented and people can seek professional help. Also having medication, getting therapy is normal for those who need it. Please don’t stigmatise this.
Divorce/ toxic relationships/single mothers.
Why do we still question women who are single and making their choices? One woman can hardly sit alone and have coffee in a restaurant without someone ‘wondering’ why. What makes this worse, is that we ask daughters to adjust and accept. Society ka kaam hai bolna. Really? Why do they need to have an opinion on my life? If you are suffocating it’s okay to walk away.
Girls are strong and independent enough to be single mothers if they prefer. Why do we stare at them like they are criminals? Why do we talk about how unsafe it is to be a single mother and their life is governed by taunts of aunties? Why can’t we change our mindset and appreciate how brave such women are.
Career Choices Mein Bhi, Log Kya Kahenge.
Some of us don’t want to become doctors and engineers. We want to pursue creative careers in painting, photography, acting , music etc. Some of us don’t want to have a career at all. But family, aunties and uncles will say “yeh sab hobby hai, what about a real job?”
Isn’t a real job is where you are satisfied and one that helps you grow as a person?
According to me Log kya kahenge is a very big reason for mental health problems among women. Please let’s change this.