An excerpt from the book, Enrich Life by Preeti Pathak

Self Love

Love is profound. You can bask in its glory and fill every part of your being till eternity, only if you understand its infinite depth. The answer to, ‘What is love?’ is usually power-packed with adjectives expressing highest emotions.

Usually when I ask people ‘Whom do you love the most?’, the answers that I get without a blink of an eye include – my child, spouse, girlfriend/ boyfriend, parents… and the list can go on. Not even once do ‘I’ here ‘I love Myself!’

To love others without expectations is selfless love. It is incredible and you feel elated. But I wonder how most people forget to love their own selves. Why does love for self not precede their love for others?

Man is an outcome of own opinion through his experience, thoughts and understanding as well as the influence of his surroundings – society, family and friends. Over the years we program ourselves to behave, think or react in a particular manner sub-consciously or automatically under the influence of both our external and internal environment which control our thinking and behavioral pattern. In pursuit for happiness, you search for love in others by making them happy and expecting gestures from them that will make you happy. The ‘Me’ is buried deep within in this quest of loving and making others happy. For a happy and harmonious self, balance between selfless love for others and self- love is essential.

Pampering your own self, following your dreams, fulfilling all tangible and intangible ambitions and needs, are manifestation of hearts desire to love own self!

People have an escapist attitude. They do not own up to their solecism. Giving advice, blaming others and the situation comes easily. Such egoic act takes away happiness and joy of the moment or pride to admit to and emend a mistake by own self. Unknowingly you give your power to people and situations to control your
emotions and attitudes. You become a pawn of emotions. Your willpower and courage to love yourself is lost.

Many people I have interacted with are in a continuous denial mode. Even if they are hurt or upset by an action, reaction or expression of the other person they do not accept that they are hurt or sad. They believe it is best to sleep over issues and cultivate an attitude that new morning, new start; bygones are bygones. Unfortunately, what they do not realize is that they have not only denied the feeling or emotion to self but are also transferring the unhappy experience to the subconscious mind, which results in unfavorable manifestation in physical, mental and emotional body.

Many people I have interacted with are in a continuous denial mode. Even if they are hurt or upset by an action, reaction or expression of the other person they do not accept that they are hurt or sad.

In my early school days, I had a friend named Sagarika. Charming girl with a sparkling smile and infectious laughter, she was the ever-ready battery of our batch with her jokes and witty answers. Sagarika was the life of every class, every party. Not only friends enjoyed her company but she was loved by our teachers too. Not a single teacher was spared from her witty answers and jokes. We didn’t have to go anywhere to enjoy. The trail of fun, joy and love with friends would start where ever we were. Place never mattered. Sagarika lived her life king size. Never any crease
on her forehead nor any worry. I never saw her worried, nervous or tensed about anything. She was like a happy magician. Ever ready to help and nurture others. Even though she was the youngest and the most pampered child at home, Sagarika never hesitated to help a stranger in need on the streets. Where ever she went, she just spread her love. The essence of self-love reflected from every fiber of her being and I could always see it over ow to other people’s pail.

To me Sagarika was a paragon of self-love. While she was selfless and loved others, she never ignored or turned a blind eye to her own choice, desire or preference. She never compromised on what she wanted. A strong and determined girl that she was, Sagarika would put all efforts to achieve what she concentrated upon. She would
ensure that her aspiration or desire does not come in the way of any duties or responsibilities. And she never let go of the moment. She lived in the present moment, always loving herself and everyone around her.

Picture Credits: Vishwakarma Publications/Preeti Pathak

Excerpted with permission from Enrich Life by Preeti Pathak, Vishwakarma Publications.

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