Can Maids & Madams Have a Less Complicated Equation?

“I will not be coming tomorrow.” The scariest words for any "madam", who is dependent on her maid/s. As we outsource more and more work, our dependency on them is naturally increasing. Hence, the perpetual fear of losing their services or their absence makes us more desperate and possessive about them, than any love plagued lover ever written about in romance.

Ever wondered what makes this equation even more complex is the different set of assumptions that both the sides make?

Our expanding households and busy lifestyles make it impossible for us to take care of all the daily chores. Especially in our country, where the task of managing a house falls on women’s shoulders, solely. With women becoming increasingly financially independent, and men coming around to realise the "work" involved in household chores maids have become an inseparable part of our urbane lives.

Most of us will have a panic attack if our maids ask for an extended leave.

But if their service is of such necessity, then why do many people continue to treat them as second-class citizens?

But if their service is of such necessity, then why do many people continue to treat them as second-class citizens?

I have seen many households, where women deliberately overburden their house helps.  In order to make sure that they have extracted from them, service worth every rupee they are paying. They do not reprimand their kids when they misbehave with them, or taunt them with their lack of education or poor living status. Full-time help and governesses have it the worst. Their employers make them stand outside of restaurants, while the family enjoys a meal. Even at home, they are forced to eat leftovers or power through the day just on tea.

This inhuman behaviour stems from lack of professionalism in our relationship with our domestic help. Also, many employers feel it is below their status to show common courtesy towards  their employee. A person they trust enough to take care of their wards.

 In western countries, housekeeping is a profession just like plumbing or engineering. The housekeepers provide a service, for which they charge decided an amount of money.

The employer and the employee discuss the chores beforehand, and both the parties respect and keep their end of the negotiation. The housekeepers know their rights and their responsibilities. Therefore, their conduct is that of a thorough professional. Hardly the scenario in our country.

In India, women keep throwing tasks at the maid, till she starts resisting or threatens to leave. How would we feel if we have to deal with such an environment at our workplaces? The respect and dignity that we seek at our workplace also hold true for the maids.

Everyone deserves dignified conduct and respect at the workplace, regardless of their profile.

The unnecessary squabbles over yearly bonus and the dangerous trend of demanding double salary during the festive season, as their right, increases the hostility in the equation. Many women dread the after effects of denied bonuses, which present themselves in form of unannounced leaves and reckless attitude towards work.

Many times women get a rude shock when bonus money becomes greater than any financial aids they have provided in so far. We all feel the financial pinch during festive seasons. Therefore, when our maid “demands” her bonus and refuses to consider our delicate financial situation, we find her demands unreasonable.

If we expect maids to empathise with us, then we have to start treating them with respect first.

Women need to stop rubbing their financial superiority in their faces, because most of the time, their demands for a raise or bonus stem from an assumption that we have no financial constraints.

When this disparity in treatment of maids ends, the understanding between the employee and the employer improves, will both the parties learn to manage their expectations. Women should also understand that when they seek services from a maid, they become an employer. Hence, they should conduct themselves just the way they expect their own employers to.

Picture credits: DNA India

Also Read: Facilitating Our Lives: How Much Do We Rely On Our Domestic Help?

Dr Yamini Pustake Bhalerao is a writer with the SheThePeople team, in the Opinions section.  The views expressed are author’s own.