6 reasons why I prefer a court marriage over a grand one
Desi parents have so many things that you will find nowhere else. One such thing is that the moment a child is born in their family, they begin to plan his/her wedding. And in case you happen to be the first child of your generation in the family, you have things a lot harder. Everyone has so many expectations for your wedding. And in such an atmosphere thinking about a simple court marriage is no less than a crime.
I happen to be one such elder kid of the family. My parents might forgive me for killing my younger sibling but they won’t forgive me for wanting a court marriage! No matter how hard I try to reason with them, they seem adamant. In case you too want to convince your parents, here is a list of reasons I could think of by far.
My mother bargains with sabzi-waale bhaiya for 5 rupees. But this lady also wants to spend lakhs of rupees on useless decorations and clothes and whatnot. I don’t understand why would people want to spend so much money on frivolous things. Court Marriages are so cheap. Spending lakhs of money for one day is utterly stupid. If you are that filthy rich, just donate that money to the poor. I feel guilty spreading so much of money on a single day when there are humans starving. Beginning a new life, with the person I love with guilt in my heart is the last thing I need! Please donate the money if you do not need it.
2. No wastage of food
No matter how much you try, wastage of food in big fat Indian weddings is inevitable. Again, I want to feel good about my wedding. I do not want to have that guilt in my heart. And anyway, why feed people who can buy their own food and are only there to criticise what was no good enough? Why not feed people who are not privileged enough to buy their own food? People who will be utterly grateful for feeding them and who won’t be trying to find the flaws in your arrangement! Isn’t that the kind of satisfaction anybody would need before starting a new phase of their lives?
3. More Intimate
Court Marriages are so much more intimate. The people you truly love and the people who truly care about you are the only ones to witness this beautiful moment of your life. You don’t have to keep smiling awkwardly out of obligation because now you are genuinely happy and smiling comfortably. And if you are an introvert, you will be even happier because now you won’t be a showpiece for everyone to analyse! Don’t get me started on those aunties in weddings who keep staring at you trying to find some flaw or the other in you for their next kitty party gossips! Ugh.
4. No regressive rituals
Let us not talk about how so many rituals in marriages are so extremely regressive and utterly sexist. The feminist in me cannot bear the burden of all of that without eloping from the wedding. The moment panditji tells me how my only motive in life would be to take care of my husband and his family, either my future husband is objecting to it or he is no longer my future husband and I am calling off the wedding! There is no way I can go through an entire one- day fiasco of consecutive regressive wedding rituals (each more sexist than the previous one) without offending the entire society! In fact, I just realised, I would rather die unmarried than go through this torture.
5. No annoying relatives and guests
This is one of my biggest problems with these extremely grand Indian weddings. Your parents invite every possible person they might have known in their lives. Everyone, from the nurse who got you delivered to the high school teacher who caught you with your school boyfriend! And those neighbourhood aunties who never thought you would get married because unlike their sanskaari sarvgunn sampann daughters, you don’t know how to cook. Who cares you were the school topper in class 12? Who cares one of those aunties’ son was caught smoking in school once? And who cares he once came home drunk and caused one interesting piece of drama in the building? You need to cook.
Imagine a wedding where nobody is criticizing the food, the money in the shagun ka lifafa, the venue and the decorations. Pure bliss. Court weddings are that bliss!
6. Better Honeymoon
I know so many people who spend a fortune on their weddings but go to Vaishno Devi for their honeymoon. I want my first honeymoon and hopefully the only honeymoon to be really memorable. Period. You can save all that money and go to a really fun honeymoon and still have some money left to invest like rational people. A day in a beautiful resort with so many people, some of whom you don’t even know sure sounds attractive. But I would pass. I find a good honeymoon destination with my husband more attractive. And not to mention more financial stability for the future!
All the best. Hope these work for you!
PS: My mother still thinks I am kidding. But I am not giving up anytime soon.
Ayushi Aggarwal is an intern at SheThePeople.TV