Why don’t we applaud women who don’t want kids?
Giving birth is a beautiful thing. We have seen it, experienced it ourselves or heard about it from other women. It is a life defining moment for some women. For some others, its all about the pain. All women can’t always see eye to eye, so why do we shame women who don’t want to have kids? As a society, we have progressed in many ways, but we forget that having children should always be the woman’s choice. It is her body, so she should have the right to decide. We should applaud the women who don’t want kids.
I’ve been able to create a career path without needing to think of others in the mix. Having this choice is liberating, I’ve been given the chance to be successful first, by myself before bringing other humans into this world.
Unfortunately, in India, women are pressurised to have kids once they are married. Parents don’t want to deal with society asking them why their daughter is not having kids. It is still something that is frowned upon, and people think you are unable to have kids and therefor you don’t have any. They forget that there’s this tiny little thing called ‘choice’, that we women can and should exercise. Succumbing to the norms of society will only make us unhappy, and we have enough stress on our plate already.
SheThePeople.TV spoke to certain individuals who gave us their opinion on why having kids is a woman’s choice. If you thought having kids was essential to a marriage, then maybe you can reconsider after reading these very persuasive reasons:
IT’S ABOUT CHOICES
“Body autonomy and choice is the first step for all genders to be equal. If we still look at all women as necessarily being mothers, in a country struggling with its population, economy and resources, we limit their possibilities with our mindset?” asks Malvika Tewari, 26, Design Consultant, Bangalore. “It’s a choice all women should be allowed to make,” says Anil Gandhi, 28, Operations Professional, Bhubaneswar. “It’s not easy to balance a child and work life and women should be free to choose their priorities and what they want to do with their life.”
KIDS DON’T DEFINE WOMANHOOD
“In a world with depleting natural resources, we are in a situation where the population is beyond control. We need to take care of those that are already in this world. Also, my self worth isn’t dependant on the number of children I spawn. I measure it on the basis of the impact I leave behind on the planet,” shared Aswira Pasha, 24, HR consultant, Bangalore.
“I can hardly understand what all the fuss is about when a woman decides she does not want to have and raise kids,” Neera S, 63, Doctor, New Delhi asserts. “It’s her body, her life. And who needs to increase the population of our country anyways? It is indeed strange that instead of applauding the woman for her independent decision, people make her feel guilty and stupid. In raising kids one has to give up so much, maybe too much. There is a lot of heartache involved too. If a woman is unwilling or unable to make all those sacrifices, then we should accept that.”
“Every woman has the right to decide the path she takes in her life. I thought I’d have all my kids before 30 and be the happiest mum, but I’m 26 at the moment and relishing every bit of young adulthood,” explains Judith Josephine, 26, Training Coordinator, Dubai. “I’ve been able to create a career path without needing to think of others in the mix. Having this choice is liberating, I’ve been given the chance to be successful first, by myself before bringing other humans into this world. With the advancement of science we have this choice, and it all boils down to choice.”
“Offsprings are an evolutionary need, agreed. But expecting every woman to bear a child is ridiculous,” says Ram Sharan, 26, Growth Hacker, Bangalore. “Her identity cannot be reduced to just that. It is about the choice of the woman, the option that she has, to say yes or no. Anything beyond that is irrelevant and nobody else other than that individual, has any say in it. We as a society need to look beyond the idea of what a ‘settled’ woman is.”
Women can give birth. It is a beautiful thing, but that shouldn’t become a synonym to ‘woman’. A modern woman is capable of much more. Its about accepting their choice and freedom to do what they want to – Reshma Upadhyay, Bangalore
“Its all about choice. If a woman decides to not have kids, society should accept it and move on. Its time to progress now, its 2017!” says Mihika Shaunik, 26, Product Designer, Bangalore.
What do you think of this? Do you want to give us your opinion on why women should have the choice to have or not have kids? We’d love to hear from you.