This week, my Twitter and Facebook feed was full of Bella Hadid’s Cannes wardrobe malfunction. With clickbait-y headlines like “Bella Hadid suffers a SERIOUS wardrobe malfunction!”. Woah? Serious? I absolutely HAD to click. She looked stunning in her satin gown, a true figure of beauty and I kept thinking- ” where is this serious malfunction? She looks perfectly damn fine!”. And then it hit me- a little tiny bit of her underwear was showing. AND THE INTERNET BASICALLY WENT INTO COLLECTIVE SHOCK.

When will we rise above clickbaity headlines

THAT, that tiny little display of underwear is what’s driving millions of views on the interwebs? If she was going commando, that would be a SERIOUS issue. But this? We clearly have way too much time on our hands! Anyway, Cannes is far from being a film festival, it’s become another occasion for celebs to strut their gowns on the red carpet. More fashion gala, less films. I always wondered- if this a film festival, why do models walk the carpet?

Anyhoo- the internet collectively got their panties in a bunch and basically dissected every single moment of her red carpet walk. We are so hungry for reading judgemental content and the publications have recognised the need for them. If her dress hadn’t opened up, would we have cared? Why is it our voyeuristic tendencies take over for the smallest little hint of something we probably cannot have?

Why is it our voyeuristic tendencies take over for the smallest little hint of something we probably cannot have?

But that apart- malfunctions occupy the better part of our timelines more than the actual event itself. I find it surprising that red carpets where celebs parade themselves occupy ANY part of your head space at all! But the malfunction stories are hyped with so many ADJECTIVES, that you would think her career is out for a toss! But all we really wanna see is a hint of skin that will give us wet dreams in the night and fuel Whatsapp group conversations over chai time.

I honestly haven’t seen a single article or mention about any Cannes’ selected films. The only time I see them is when they play before the credits in a movie trailer! Why is that we never see film directors or videographers or producers walk the red carpet? It’s a sham- aimed to celebrate the fashion of cinema and even in that, we choose to only highlight the malfunctions!

Will this marriage of creepy content and our voyeurism end?

Views are the author’s own