Lucia Fikar blogs about breaking the glass-ceiling
I am 27 years old. I am Argentinian and living in Ireland, I am a psychologist specialized in legal and forensics psychology. Have I broken the glass ceiling? I don’t think so… Am I in the right direction? I sure hope so… Do I know the worst enemy I face in my battle to do it? Very much… Can my experience be of help? Let’s see…
The bigger the dream, the more people you are going to find telling you it is impossible
I think it all started with a dream. A big dream – at least for me it was big-, the kind of dreams that you need to start planning and getting in motion very early. The bigger the dream, the more people you are going to find telling you it is impossible, just a kid’s dream or simply foolish. So, even as a child you get used to been diminish and adopt “fool” as a second name. Of course there are people that tell you that if you work hard you can even touch the sky if it is what you want, but could the sweet single voice of a believer can be stronger than the constant shouting of everybody else?
For me, as hard as I tried, it couldn’t. It’s still hard. But as years pass you by you realize that you are working towards those dreams because of that sweet single voice, and because you are stubborn and strong enough, even if you don’t think so.
After I finished the first part of my studies and I have been living in a big city, far away from my home town and my family, when I was almost on my own is when I realized that people with big mouths trying to get you down are everywhere, and is something you can’t control and in most cases change. People are afraid of your ideas, they are jealous, are conformist, ignorant about the subject, maybe they are just trying to “save you from disappointment and pain”, and some people are just mean and they are going to let you know what they think, even if you didn’t ask for it. People is different, and you are going to encounter all sort of people in your life, but what they think and say to you it’s completely out of your control, there’s very little you can do about it, you are not going to be able to change their thought, but you can choose the way you are going to react and what are you going to do. When you finally realize that, and trust me, is an everyday battle, you’ll feel relieved. And so I did. But at that point I realize something even worse and more difficult that I could I have ever thought.
When you get through the critics from others then you hear in the back of your mind another voice telling you that you can’t. And is the most powerful voice of all, the one you are going to hear in every step you take, at any time…yours. All those years of people telling you that you can’t do it get internalized, you have learned to ignore whatever they say to you now, but what they told you then is there, in your mind, and you believe it. That voice is what’s going to hold you back, that voice is the last, and stronger, protective layer of the glass ceiling.
That voice is what’s going to hold you back, that voice is the last, and stronger, protective layer of the glass ceiling.
At the begging I said it all started with a dream, a big dream for me that is to help people. That is what guides me and the reason I do what I do. But, have I broken my glass ceiling? I don’t think so, and that’s because even now that I am fulfilling my dream I always doubt myself, is never enough, I always hear that little voice telling me I’m not worthy. So, do I know my worst enemy? Yes, I am my own enemy. Of course I still find people that make me feel bad and that tell I can’t do what I want, but they are not as cruel as I am, and those voices eventually leave, but my own is still there.
But I also said that I think I was in the right direction, and I honestly think that’s true. How is that? First off all I realized that the thing stopping me is me. Now I can try to work on that, work on me. The way I found to work around that is using all those negative thought as inspiration. I think I am not enough, so I improve myself, I work harder, and most important I keep dreaming. The power of being the best is in me, even if other people or circumstances may delay us, even if society tells us otherwise, we are the only ones that can push us over our glass ceiling.
About the author:
I am Argentinian now living in Ireland. I am a psychologist specializes in legal and forensic psychology and GBV. I would really like to able to use my knowledge to help survivors of violence around the world.